Category: Forgiveness

No Matter What

​  “I love You, LORD; You are my Strength. The LORD is my Rock, my Fortress, and my Savior; my God is my Rock, in whom I find protection. He is my Shield, the Power that saves me, and my Place of Safety. I called on the LORD, Who is worthy of praise, and He saved me from my enemies. God’s Way is perfect. All the LORD’s promises prove true. He is a Shield for all who look to Him for protection. The LORD Lives! Praise to my Rock! May the God of my salvation be exalted! He is the God who pays back those who harm me; He subdues the nations under me…” – Psalms 18:1‭-‬3‭, ‬30‭, ‬46‭-‬47 NLT

God loves me. Through feast and famine, divorce, abuse, homelessness or riches; GOD has LOVED me. No matter what – or who, or where, or when – God has always loved me. These verses from Psalm 18 are David’s song to his LORD on the day he was delivered from almost certain death from Saul and all of David’s enemies, and we should probably be singing these praises daily, ourselves. 

The artist Who created the earth and all that is within it chooses to love me; to love US, no matter what. 

I don’t know about you, but I have to confess that it kinda blows my mind. Focus on verse 2: “The LORD is my Rock, my Fortress, and my Savior; my God is my Rock, in whom I find protection. He is my Shield, the Power that saves me, and my Place of Safety.”

He is: Rock, Fortress, Saviour; Protection, Shield, Power, and Safe Place. ALL of God’s Ways are perfect. His desire is to be all of these things for me and for you. I NEED Him to be these things for me. I can’t live without Him. For years, I tried to live without Him, and I kept myself so busy in my sins so that I could ignore just how miserable I really was. Me, self-centered, selfish, stubborn, proud…. and angry, jealous, mean. It all goes together, and it thrills the enemy when we cling to those attitudes and feelings.

Even though I spent my 40 years getting through the “wilderness” of my making, my God never left my side. No matter how hard I fought to ignore His Presence, no matter how loud I screamed to drown out His quiet voice, He was always with me. Did I say “always?” Because I meant ALL ways, ALWAYS, no matter what, with me. He lives and He will give you Life if you will accept it. LIFE. 

  “But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere.” – James 3:17 NLT

Do you want to be more like God? Can you imagine living life unafraid and joyful, full of peace, with a gentle and giving spirit? From my own experience, I can say without reservation that I know the way. Because I am an imperfect being, the reflection of God’s Holy Spirit is often distorted when His perfection as it comes off me. Still, there are times when He uses me to shine His Light on others, and it humbles me to know it. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, in my power as a person to show His Mercy to others; it all comes from the Holy Spirit. 

  “If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by openly declaring your faith that you are saved. For ‘Everyone who calls on the Name of the LORD will be saved.’ ” – Romans 10:9‭-‬10‭, ‬13 NLT (Joel 2:32)

NO MATTER WHAT….

(All scriptures quoted from  http://bible.com/116/psa.18.1-47.NLT )

Go

​  “Jesus called His twelve disciples together and gave them authority to cast out evil spirits and to heal every kind of disease and illness.” …. “Look, I am sending you out as sheep among wolves. So be as shrewd as snakes and harmless as doves.”  

  “Don’t be afraid of those who want to kill your body; they cannot touch your soul. Fear only God, who can destroy both soul and body in hell.” …. “Everyone who acknowledges Me publicly here on earth, I will also acknowledge before My Father in heaven. But everyone who denies me here on earth, I will also deny before My Father in heaven.” 

  “Don’t imagine that I came to bring peace to the earth! I came not to bring peace, but a sword.” (Matthew 10:1‭, ‬16‭‭, ‬28‭, ‬32‭-‬34 NLT)

Go! Go out into the world and tell people about Jesus. Let’s start with verse 16. We are being sent to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the Good News, to the world, as “sheep among wolves.” Not a pretty picture. Then, to top it off, Jesus says to be “shrewd as snakes” – eeeeewww, gross; and “harmless as doves.” If nothing else, dove can be persistent! In spite of the picture I get from these verses, I find great comfort in verse 28a. 

  “Don’t be afraid of those who want to kill your body; they cannot touch your soul.”  

I’ve made the statement (a number of times) that bad guys – thugs, gangsters, etc. – can’t hurt me, to friends who then try to correct me and tell me that I can be hurt. We are both correct. Someone might hurt this physical body, even kill me, but that isn’t what drives me. This body is temporary (thank GOD!) but my soul is eternal, and it belongs to God. I don’t want to be hurt, and I don’t like to hurt. I know that when I have been physically hurt in the past, I’ve done my share of crying and complaining. Maybe more than my share! The difference then and now is that I am no longer living in fear of hurt. I don’t consciously put myself in harms way, but I don’t cower in fear, either. 

I am confident that whatever happens, I will live on with Jesus, forever and a day. 

Going back to the scriptures, the last verse here is one of my favorite quotes from Jesus. He was humble and didn’t brag, and He allowed Himself to be arrested and tried, flogged and ridiculed, and hung on a cross. He also cleared the temple in Jerusalem, His Father’s house, in righteous anger, of all of the scammers who were selling goods there. He was humble, but He was not weak! Verse 34:

  “Don’t imagine that I came to bring peace to the earth! I came not to bring peace, but a sword.”

I don’t carry a sword; I carry the protection of my LORD. (A little target practice never hurts, either….)

The command stands. Jesus doesn’t tell us all to leave home and go to faraway places. Some of us need to stay home to reach neighbors and friends and family. Don’t be afraid of what man can do to you. When GOD sits on the great white throne and passes justice, everyone who has done evil to His children will face His wrath. If you have ever seen a human father or mother protecting their kids, just imagine how much greater is God’s protection and judgment! I can hardly wait!

  “Everyone who acknowledges Me publicly here on earth, I will also acknowledge before My Father in heaven….  And if you give even a cup of cold water to one of the least of My followers, you will surely be rewarded.” (Matthew 10:32‭, ‬42 NLT)

(http://bible.com/NLT)

I Am Rich

Do you realize that if you have indoor plumbing, a home (whether one room or a mansion), more clothes than what you are currently wearing, food, and transportation, you are in the top 15% of the world’s population in wealth? According to an article dated 20 July 2016 at http://www.investopedia.com, and income of $32,400 (that’s $11.60/hour) puts you in the top 1% of the world in wealth. The top ONE Percent. That’s a staggering statistic!

Maybe you don’t feel wealthy because you are struggling financially. (I am, so I can relate.) We are bombarded through television and social media, billboards, signs, and peer pressure to buy more, buy bigger, have the newest… do you wonder why check cashing businesses and pawnshops and “We Buy Gold” businesses are thriving? Bankruptcy and divorce lawyers? Why so many houses are in foreclosure?  We become so focused on that newer, shinier, next thing or person, we build ourselves mountains of depth, creating deep levels of discontent and worry and stress, and these things destroy us. 

I am not immune! 

Keeping up appearances is something I struggle with just like so many people, but I am sure of one thing: I do NOT want to end up like the rich man in Luke 16. Read the whole chapter! 

“But Abraham said to him, ‘Son, remember that during your lifetime you had everything you wanted, and Lazarus had nothing. So now he is here being comforted, and you are in anguish.” – Luke 16:25 NLT

Recognize how blessed you are. Be thankful for what you have, especially family. 

http://bible.com/NLT

Guilt

 “For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.” – James 3:16 NLT

As I sit here reading my Bible, I am listening to a woman on the radio talk about meeting her birth mother for the first time, and finding out it was someone she had known through her church all of her life. She described it as being awkward, and feeling obligated to maintain communication even though she didn’t want to. Then she talked about how grateful she was that her birth mother had given her the best parents she could imagine having. It’s possible to be angry and grateful at the same time.

The birth mother did an amazing thing. As the birth mother of a child who was given up, I see this from the other side from the child. It is incredibly difficult, letting your child go, even when you know they are going to a couple who will be excellent parents, able to provide emotionally and financially for the child. 

Watching from the sidelines, it would be easy to let jealousy and selfishness grow. It was something I dealt with. When I made the decision to let her go, I had to promise I would not come back in a year or 10 years and say “Okay, I have it together now, I want my child back.” While I was trying to survive the horrible decisions and situations I was in, I watched my child thrive and be happy. She had a mom and dad who loved God, each other, and her. After a couple of years, they had a baby and she became a sister. They presented a stable, well taken care of family picture. 

Yes, I was jealous. They had, and were, everything I wanted for myself and wasn’t able to achieve. Just as James points out, the jealousy I felt was accompanied by much disorder and evil. My life was ugly…. why should they have what I wanted, when I couldn’t? 

The answer lay in Jesus Christ. 

  “If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind. But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.” – James 3:13‭-‬18 NLT

While I was being earthly and unspiritual, and being attacked on a demonic level, the adoptive parents were putting God first and “reaping a harvest of righteousness.” If they had known how deeply in trouble I was, I know they would have done whatever possible to help me. Instead, I hid in the darkness of my life, lost in denial, until I almost died from the consequences of my sin. Oh, I repented for a time, but the lure of Satan is strong . Where God is a gentleman, the enemy is a liar, crafty, underhanded, cheating and lying to snag us. He wants us away from our Lord, and he wants us to seek revenge against God.

Remember that! God created us with free will. He knew, even while He was fashioning the clay in His hands, that there were many millions and billions of humans whom Satan would deceive into following him, rather than God. Why would He give us free will so that we could throw it back in His face? Why, indeed. The Creator wants us to CHOOSE Him on our own. He will not coerce or force us. When we make the conscious decision to follow Christ, and we look to heaven instead of ourselves for wisdom, He rewards us with peace. Glorious Peace!

  “But the Wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere.” – James 3:17 NLT

Words to live by.

(http://bible.com/116/jas.3.13-18.NLT )

New Life

  “He spreads out the northern skies over empty space; He suspends the earth over nothing. He wraps up the waters in His clouds, yet the clouds do not burst under their weight. He covers the face of the full moon, spreading His clouds over it. He marks out the horizon on the face of the waters for a boundary between light and darkness. The pillars of the heavens quake, aghast at His rebuke. By His power He churned up the sea; by His wisdom He cut Rahab to pieces. By His breath the skies became fair; His hand pierced the gliding serpent. And these are but the outer fringe of His works; how faint the whisper we hear of Him! Who then can understand the thunder of His power?” – Job 26:7‭-‬14 NIV
New LIFE. That’s what the Creator has breathed into the world, and into to us. As we move into spring, we see the renewing of the earth in the early daffodils and hyacinths and tulips, trees bursting out in blossoms, and babies being born all through creation. Beauty surrounds us when we open our eyes enough to behold it. Jesus chose the time when the earth begins to stir to new life to sacrifice His life so that humanity could have new life. Beautiful, indeed! Are we spending our time of renewal sleeping with the Apostles, or praying with our LORD?

  Then [Jesus] returned to His disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” He asked Peter. “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” – Matthew 26:40‭-‬41 NIV

Hurting, feelings of depression, believing that we are not worthy are all coming directly from the enemy. Look to Jesus Christ! As C.S. Lewis said “Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look to Christ, and you will find Him, and with Him everything.” 

(Scriptures from http://bible.com)

Joyful, Patient, Faithful

​  “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” NIV, or as the NLT translates, “Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.” – Romans 12:12 NIV, NLT

Hope, Patience, and Faithfulness. Not exactly what we want to hear when we are going through trials, and it’s a daily struggle for me to do these things. I like the way the NLT phrases it: “Rejoice in our confident hope…” Hope is what gets us through the hard times, but not just any hope. Without the Hope of Redemption by Jesus Christ, anything else fades away. 

  “Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” – Matthew 11:28‭-‬30 NLT

Have you given much thought to this scripture? Jesus asks us to take His yoke – but why would I exchange one burden for another? We talk about a yoke as if it is a commonplace item,but I’m certain there are people who don’t have any idea what it is. 

A yoke can be used on oxen or on people, as illustrated above. It is a tool to allow more weight to be carried, and done properly, we can carry much more with a yoke than in our hands and on our backs. An oxen can pull many times his weight with a yoke. Most of my adult life I spent dragging a tremendous amount of baggage with an ill-fitting yoke, and it weighed me down, exhausted me, and kept me in pain. I’m not talking about physical baggage. This is emotional, physical baggage, and it is what Jesus wants to take away to replace with His yoke. Having that tremendous weight taken away allowed me to breathe, really breathe, for the first time in years. I didn’t understand that all that time, the reason I was in so much pain was because I wouldn’t – couldn’t – let go of the baggage. It was mine, and it was all I had. If I let go of it, what would be left?

There is beauty in letting go! I still hold on to some baggage. It’s a process, a journey. Jesus takes the majority of my burden – as much as I can let go off – and in return, all I have left to carry is His Love, His concern for others, His Light, and His Word to share with others. His burden is LIGHT!! (Yes, it’s a pun, AND it is pure truth!) Let it go, let it go, let it go… whether you are singing Elsa’s song from the movie Frozen, or you are repeating the words from a 12-step group (Let go and let God), what counts is that you are letting go of the baggage and looking to Jesus for His help.

When we let go and let God have our burdens, even the scary, dramatic, drastic ones, then no matter what the enemy throws at us, we can and will overcome because we have God with us; GOD with ME. Amen!

(All scriptures from http://bible.com)

RUNAWAY…

I couldn’t sleep for the concern on my mind tonight.

I spent some time today on the phone and messaging with the family of a young friend (whom I will call Bea – to protect her). Her family knows basically what the problem is and they are beginning to understand addiction, but they can’t fix it and they don’t know how how to act with her. Why do some of us end up acting out with addictive behaviors? It’s because the wiring of our brains got crossed and we don’t know how to fix it. We know that hurt people hurt people, and reacting to hurtful comments with more hurtful comments just keeps the wheel spinning. I suggested unfriending Bea on social media. When a loved one is in their addiction, we only hurt ourselves by trying to see what’s going on. Snooping is a destructive action for everyone involved. If Bea wants or needs her family, she knows how to reach them without relying on social media.

Offering our love and our prayers is the the very best thing we can do for the addict. We talked about money and bank accounts and personal belongings. I believe that by withholding those things, at least any funds, is important to prevent them being used to support the addiction. As for disposing of clothes or personal items, I wouldn’t. At some point, she may be able to return and the presence of those things could be important for her to know she wasn’t unimportant or cast away. 

Accusations, demands, and ultimatums against the addict, more often than not, backfire on us. Think about the definition of the word ultimatum: “a final, uncompromising demand or set of terms issued by a party to a dispute, the rejection of which may lead to a severance of relations or to the use of force; or, a final proposal or statement of conditions.” From my own experience, anytime I have been offered an ultimatum, it goes directly to the severing of that relationship. Addicts, especially, don’t like having demands or accusations or ultimatums. 

I’m so thankful for having parents who never gave up on me. As my mom told me after I wrote my amends letter to her, they never stopped loving me or praying for me – but they didn’t like me. Thank you, Mom and Dad.

Bea’s mom asked what it took for me to stop my addiction. The answer is something of an oxymoron. It took 40 years of ups and downs, being in and out of church (but never really surrendering), and tremendous amounts of spiritual and physical pain. Being told by others, even counselors, didn’t make it real. My saying it didn’t make it real. Admitting it to God first, then to myself, and finally to others…. that’s when the reality of it hit me. I had to acknowledge that I did not have control of my addiction (or my life), and then I had to hand over control to God. How do you hand something over if you don’t have it in the first place??? 

Ah, therein lies the rub! Reality. The catalyst for my behavior was hidden in my subconscious for years. When the buried memories would try to surface, I denied them. I had to accept the truth of what happened to me, and then I had to forgive ME (it really wasn’t my fault!) so that I could forgive the perpetrators. By denying the realities, I lived in a fantasy. I KNEW I was worthless and no good because of what was done to me. That was the enemy, Satan, telling me that and selling me a bunch of garbage. I bought into it when I was young, so my sham of control was just that. In addiction, the enemy is in control. We have to deny him, and give God permission to take it.

Pray, pray, pray, and pray some more. “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” – Thessalonians 5:16‭-‬18 NIV

My prayers will be for the protection of the whole family. I can visualize God’s angel army standing guard over each of them! When a member of the family is under attack, everyone is vulnerable. When people ask if they can pray or how they can pray, or if you ask someone to pray, give no details. It’s private. It’s not for discussion. Even, it’s none of their business. We have to be willing to PRAY and not gossip. God loves us. We need to love His children.

  “With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of His calling, and that by His power He may bring to fruition your every desire for goodness and your every deed prompted by faith.” – 2 Thessalonians 1:11 NIV 


(All scriptures: http://bible.com/111/NIV)

HANGRY?

Are you tired? Sick? Angry? Hurt?

  “Think about what is true. Think about what is noble, right & pure. Think about what is lovely & worthy of respect. If anything is excellent or worthy of praise, think about those kinds of things.” – Phil 4:8 
It’s amazing what can happen when you just THINK.
You probably want to know what, exactly, is “Hangry.” It’s a word I first heard in a Celebrate Recovery meeting. Hungry, angry, tired. These are the fuses, or triggers, to revert to our addictive behaviors, whether it is drugs, alcohol, sex, abuse, out of control eating,… even shopping. I wonder if Cain was ‘hangry’ when God addressed him here.

  “Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.” – Genesis 4:6‭-‬7 NIV ‬‬‬

Is this you today? Are you downcast, and at the mercy of the sin crouching at your door? I wonder if Cain’s parents had told him and his brother about the Garden; about how breathtakingly beautiful it had been, and why they couldn’t be there anymore. I wonder if perhaps he was a little bitter and envious that they had lived in the perfect place, and because of their sin, he had to work hard working the land to grow his crops. His brother Abel kept flocks, and as difficult as that can be at times, it feels so rewarding to see your labor grow into beautiful animals. Personally, I enjoy gardening and the harvest that comes from it, but having animals… They click within my soul and bring me a joy and peace, much more than my garden. Could that be why Cain was jealous of his brother?

It isn’t a contest. God loves us the same, whether we plant like Adam and Cain, or we care for our herds like Abel, or we nurture and grow our family like Eve. It seems that so many of us spend our lives looking downcast and searching anything around us that we can treat negatively and disdainful. We feel superior to others because they haven’t dealt with the horrible life we have. We are so unfair and judgmental in our thoughts and our words… But what do we know about that person, really? They could have recently received news of a parent or sibling or child dying. Maybe their spouse had an affair , or left unexpectedly; they could have been fired or had a wreck or lost their home through some disaster. Life continues, even when our world is falling apart. No matter what we are facing, 

  “When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before You. Yet I am always with You; You hold me by my right hand. My flesh and my heart may fail, but GOD is the Strength of my heart and my Portion FOREVER.” – Psalm 73:21‭-‬23‭, ‬26 NIV 

GOD will never leave us or forsake us – it is us who do the leaving and forsaking, every single time. It’s such a rush, and relief, when we finally get it. Earlier today, a friend contacted me about an underage family member who has left home and is deeply involved in a sexual addiction. Please pray for that family. In Romans 12:12, Paul says:

  “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” – Romans 12:12 NIV

As difficult as that can be, I know it to be true. Without the prayers of my parents and my family, I am convinced that I would not be alive today. We are all different, and we react differently to events in our lives. Especially with girls, physical affection, i.e. hugs – are vital to being healthy. God is the God of second chances, and I am incredibly grateful He never gave up on me!

I SURRENDER ALL

I surrender all, 

I surrender all.

All to Jesus, I surrender, 

I surrender all.

All to Jesus, I surrender,

All to Him I freely give.

I will ever love and trust Him,

In His Presence,  I will live.

Growing up in church, we often used this hymn* as the invitation at the end of the service to invite people to come to Jesus and surrender their hearts to Him. Beautifully written, it summarizes what Jesus said to His disciples. 

  “For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self?  Whoever is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels.” – Luke 9:25‭-‬26 (http://bible.com/111/luk.9.25-26.NIV)

It is so difficult for many of us to surrender everything. I’ve surrendered many things over to God, but I still find myself struggling to let go of certain aspects of my life. I don’t get it. I know… really KNOW, that giving everything to God only makes my life better. It may not change the circumstances I am in, but by letting go it changes me. Move the mountain, or move me. Jesus said:

  “Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” – Matthew 17:20 (http://bible.com/111/mat.17.20.NIV)

Apparently, even the Apostles didn’t have the “faith of a mustard seed” (I haven’t seen any mountains being moved in the Gospels). However, they did have enough faith to let the LORD move them. A group called FFH released a song in 2000 called “Lord Move, or Move Me.” (You can hear it on Google Play.) I think the lyrics fit right into my life.

“Lord move in the way, that I’ve never seen before 

 Cause there’s a mountain in the way and a lock on the door 

 I’m drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore 

 So Lord move (move), or move me.”

I surrender all. Such a foreign concept in today’s society. Today, it seems as though everyone is concerned with their selfies and “getting real” on social media. It’s all about “me.” Life can never be as good as it can be when our focus is on ourselves instead of God, and that God-focus is exactly what the enemy doesn’t want. When our focus is anywhere except on Christ Jesus, we are listening to the enemy known as Satan, Lucifer, Abaddon (Revelation 9:11), Beelzebub (Matthew 12:24), King of Babylon, Destroyer, and Adversary (1 Peter 5:8), and even as the angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14). He goes by many names, and we have to continually be on guard against him. 

What will it be today? Every thing, every thought, every action, is a choice. I don’t often make the right choice and let God have control. I’m usually being too human…

*The words to ‘I Surrender All’ were penned by Judson W. Van DeVenter (1855-1939) and put to music by Winfield S.Weeden (1847-1908); published 1896. Source: Wikipedia.