Category: Hurting

Am I God?

There have been many people throughout the ages spreading the lie that we are each a god; that I am god. This is an eternally damning lie. Am I God? NO! There is but One God; the Almighty God, Creator of the universe. There is, however, one who wants us to believe the lie. The enemy, Satan, will stoop to any depth and use any perversion and tactic to get us to believe that we are gods; that we are equal to the Creator God. It starts with Eve, and Adam, making the lie that we can be equal to God. The enemy has used power very successfully over the ages to corrupt men and women, leading them to believe that they are better than anyone else and thus above any laws; that they are gods. Remember Joseph from the Bible? He was horribly mistreated by his brothers and sold into slavery at a young age. Temptations were thrown in his path by the enemy, giving him many opportunities to grasp at power and become like a god – but his belief in the Almighty God kept his heart in the right place. He never sought after power, and reject temptation after temptation, and God rewarded him with the position next to Pharaoh, who people regarded as a god. He had opportunity to take revenge on his brothers:

  “But Joseph replied, “Don’t be afraid of me. Am I God, that I can punish you? You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.” – Genesis 50:19‭-‬20 NLT (http://bible.com/116/gen.50.19-20.NLT)

Can we be as forgiving as Joseph of the wrongs that have been done to us? Can we ask for and receive forgiveness from the ones we have wronged?

I am not God, and I am not a god. I am human, with free will, so I get to choose how I will take the information God gives us in His Word. I choose whether I will forgive, just as I choose to seek forgiveness. Sometimes it isn’t possible in this world to confront an abuser because they continue to abuse, and it isn’t safe for us to seek them out. God does want us to be hurt again and again. He is our Safety and Salvation; our Safe Place where we can go to hide. Sometimes in this world we have to physically hide ourselves from our abusers in order to stop the abuse, and I am thankful for all of the individuals and organizations who provide those safe places. Sometimes, it is physically impossible to escape the abuse, and my heart cries out for those imprisoned in that cycle.

I am not God, and it is not for me to seek revenge on my perpetrators. He made it possible for me to escape the abuse, even when I couldn’t see it. Jesus tells us: 

  “Even those closest to you—your parents, brothers, relatives, and friends—will betray you. They will even kill some of you.” – Luke 21:16 NLT (http://bible.com/116/luk.21.16.NLT)

This is one of the most difficult verses for me to read. There are thousands of people alive today who are being betrayed, persecuted, and abused – and even killed – by their own families. Children sold by their parents as sex slaves. Brothers and sisters perpetrating abuse upon each other. Watch the news anytime, and there will probably be a story of someone being arrested for child abuse, or family members making or selling drugs. Am I God, that I can take revenge on these people?  A resounding no! I am not God, and I am glad I am not a god. Here’s why: when the Great White Throne Judgment occurs, I won’t be responsible for anyone’s destruction. I will be judged alongside everyone else, but I will have Jesus at my side as my Advocate. 

   “And I saw a great white throne and the ONE sitting on it. The earth and sky fled from His Presence, but they found no place to hide. I saw the dead, both great and small, standing before God’s throne. And the books were opened, including the Book of Life. And the dead were judged according to what they had done, as recorded in the books. The sea gave up its dead, and death and the grave gave up their dead. And all were judged according to their deeds. Then death and the grave were thrown into the lake of fire. This lake of fire is the second death. And anyone whose name was not found recorded in the Book of Life was thrown into the lake of fire.” – Revelation 20:11‭-‬15 NLT (http://bible.com/116/rev.20.11-15.NLT)

Am I God? No, but I know God through His Son, Jesus Christ. He carries me when I can’t walk, and He walks beside me when whenever I insist on doing it myself. He never leaves me and He will not forsake me. He protects my soul. I never have to walk alone again.  I pray that as you read this, you understand the importance of this relationship with Jesus. It can be life altering, if you invite Him in. Unlike our human “friends,” He is a perfect friend and gentleman,  never pushing and always there – and always forgiving. (Credit goes to my friend John Lawton for the painting!)

Today is the Day

As is so often the case, I opened my blog this morning with a certain subject in mind, and God took me in a totally different direction. I can remember times when my Dad would walk to the pulpit to begin his carefully, and prayerfully, constructed sermon,  only to say that He felt God leading him to a different subject. It’s possible to fight God’s leading and continue on with our own thoughts, but so much more satisfying to follow Him. 

  “Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.” – Romans 12:9‭-‬10 NLT (http://bible.com/116/rom.12.9-10.NLT)

How much of our love is real and not for show? My thought this morning was to talk about life, and how no matter how dark our yesterday was, the Light of Christ is always there for those who believe in Him. Matt Maher’s song “Hold Us Together” was playing on the radio as I sat down:

“This is the first day of the rest of your life, Cause even in the dark you can still see the Light – it’s gonna be alright… Love will hold us together, Make us a shelter to weather the storm; And I’ll be my brother’s keeper So the whole world knows that we’re not alone…”

The two thoughts go hand in hand. When our love is real, it is the kind of LOVE that is only obtained through a relationship with Christ Jesus. Not only does His Love hold us together whenever we are in a dark place, but His Love shines through our brokenness to light the way for others to find Him. Not through anything we can think up to say or do, but HIS thoughts and HIS actions through us.   
There’s another song by Ryan Stevenson that says “You Alone are the Anchor when my sails are torn in the eye of the storm… ” 

There is such truth in these 2 songs, and I love how the lyrics compliment each other. That happens a lot when we choose Christ. When we strive to follow Jesus’ command to love, really LOVE, our brothers, we begin to see how God is working for good in our lives. When we love with God’s Love, we honor others and Him, and that is all He asks of us. “Don’t just pretend… Love them with genuine affection… and… Honor each other.”

The Truth is that these things are impossible to do without Christ. We can throw money into missions and missionaries and mission trips; we can even give our time and efforts. But without Love, this is nothing. Now, don’t shoot the messenger! Scripture says: 

  “If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? And He has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their fellow believers.” – 1 John 4:20‭-‬21 NLT (http://bible.com/116/1jn.4.20-21.NLT)

Today is the day to start a new life; a life to follow Christ’s command to love, really love, others. Today, not tomorrow. Will you pray about it, and pray for the person who has hurt you the most in this world? 

Obey My Commands 

​  “As the Father has Loved Me, so have I Loved you. Now remain in My Love. If you keep My commands, you will remain in My Love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in His Love. I have told you this so that My joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have Loved you. Greater love has NO ONE one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends…” (http://bible.us/John15.9-13.NIV)

Jesus said “Obey my commands…” and then He gives us the ONE command that supercedes and yet includes all of the previous law: “Love each other as I have Loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

There could come a time in our lifetimes – and it could come very soon – when we are called to do this; to actually lay down our lives for our friends and family and our faith. It is happening all around the world today, even as I write this. Are you prepared? Are you prayed up and armored by the Word of God?

  “The message of the cross is foolish to those who are headed for destruction! But we who are being saved know it is the very Power of God…. God has united you with Christ Jesus. For our benefit God made Him to be Wisdom itself. Christ made us right with God; He made us pure and holy, and He freed us from sin. Therefore, as the Scriptures say, “If you want to boast, boast only about the LORD.” – 1 Corinthians 1:18‭, ‬30‭-‬31 NLT (http://bible.com/116/1co.1.18-31.NLT)

This is apparent in the world, and I think it is especially true here, in the United States. There are so many lies being pushed aside truth in the media. Preachers are teaching that one color or one style of life is more important than others. What happened to “All men are created equal?” Do black lives matter more than red or brown or yellow or white? Do blue lives matter more than any other? Then we have the disparities between life styles and economic and academic classes. Where does it end? Read all of 1 Corinthians, chapter 1. We are foolish to think that we are any better than anyone else. It is only by keeping the ONE command that Jesus gave us that we can honor Him. If God has united you with Jesus Christ as your Savior, then you should understand. If we in thought and in deed love others as Christ loves us, then there is no inequality in our treatment of others. 

Unfortunately, we are human and as such are incapable of the kind of LOVE that Jesus has. Yet again, when we are united with Christ, and we allow ourselves to be in Him, then, and only then, can His Love shine in us and through us. As broken people, the Light of Jesus can shine through all of the cracks and holes of our brokenness and imperfections. So if we are to boast on anything, let’s boast on Jesus. So  “If you want to boast, boast ONLY about the LORD,” and be prepared to lay down your life in order to boast of Him. There IS no greater Love. 

How I would like to see our politicians (from the city level all the way to Washington) understand the importance of God’s Word and the power that is to be gained by following the example of Jesus Christ instead of their own selfish and self-righteousness….

The Sun Will Come Out

It has been a few days since I have written anything. There has been a fog – whether physiological or spiritual, I don’t know – that I am working to overcome. The sun will come out from behind the clouds; that’s God’s promise. As I write this, the morning sun has raised it’s self over the clouds gathered on the horizon and is shining brightly on me, full in it’s glory and majesty. Isn’t God good?? In the same way, we have the Light of the Son, Jesus Christ. His Glory and Majesty are often obscured by the clouds and the darkness of the world when we don’t focused on Him. He isn’t hiding; we are. Silly people, won’t we ever understand that He is always with us, even we turn our backs and try to hide in the fog?

 Initially, this was titled “Who Do You Follow?” God often has other plans and I need to listen to Him. These verses called me today and I have to share my thoughts on them. As Paul writes to the Corinthian church, his words apply even to us today. Substitute the names of Paul and Apollos and Peter with the names of any well-known pastors today and consider Paul’s words.

  “Dear brothers and sisters, when I was with you I couldn’t talk to you as I would to spiritual people. I had to talk as though you belonged to this world or as though you were infants in Christ. I had to feed you with milk, not with solid food, because you weren’t ready for anything stronger. And you still aren’t ready, for you are still controlled by your sinful nature. You are jealous of one another and quarrel with each other. Doesn’t that prove you are controlled by your sinful nature? Aren’t you living like people of the world? When one of you says, “I am a follower of Paul,” and another says, “I follow Apollos,” aren’t you acting just like people of the world? After all, who is Apollos? Who is Paul? We are only God’s servants through whom you believed the Good News. Each of us did the work the Lord gave us. I planted the seed in your hearts, and Apollos watered it, but it was God who made it grow. It’s not important who does the planting, or who does the watering. What’s important is that God makes the seed grow.” 

  “Don’t you realize that all of you together are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God lives in you? God will destroy anyone who destroys this temple. For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple.” So don’t boast about following a particular human leader. For everything belongs to you— whether Paul or Apollos or Peter, or the world, or life and death, or the present and the future. Everything belongs to you, and you belong to Christ, and Christ belongs to God .”

(http://bible.com/116/1co.3.1-23.NLT)

That last verse really gets to me. Think about it. In Biblical financial studies, we learned that everything belongs to God. Did you get that? Everything….. my house, your apartment, all of the appliances and furnishings inside, animals, vehicles, gardens – children, parents, siblings, spouse, significant other, and etcetera. It all belongs to God. 

I tend to forget that. “Mine, all mine; my Precious!” For those who have read JRR Tolkien or have seen the movie “The Fellowship of the Ring,” you should get this. We can easily become like Gollum, whose obsession with a ring turned him into a sort of monster. Our obsession with things can be just as overwhelming as his was. We don’t change our physical form, but our spirit becomes warped and ugly. Even our spiritual leadership run this risk. The power to influence people is a pretty heady thing. Whenever I see a pastor or church leaders teaching the “gospel of prosperity,” or teaching that you have to make monetary contributions in order to be healed, or sitting in their throne-like chairs on stage in their expensive clothes and makeup and jewelry…. these are not from God!

A pastor’s job is teach about Jesus, not to promote themselves or their amusement park or their “ministry.” I don’t dispute that every ministry has to have a certain amount of monetary backing, but it is not the preacher’s job to extort his people for financial gain. Being a Pastor isn’t about getting rich, it’s about bringing people into the Kingdom of God and teaching us the Bible. Read verses 21-23 again:

  “So don’t boast about following a particular human leader. For everything belongs to you— whether Paul or Apollos or Peter, or the world, or life and death, or the present and the future. Everything belongs to you, and you belong to Christ, and Christ belongs to God.” 

Our choice – my choice – is this. I can focus on Jesus and trust that His Light will shine through the fog and burn it away (eventually!), or I can put my faith in a man or woman and trust them to take me out of the fog…. The difference is this. With Jesus, the fog may linger or it may be burned away, but it doesn’t matter which because I have the best navigation and protection system ever in Jesus and the Holy Spirit and His angels. With man, they may temporarily drag me out of the fog, but it’s still there, able to roll in and overtake me at any time.

I choose Jesus, Light of the world. The SON will come out and Shine! Amen!

Men – “Can’t live with ’em; can’t live without ’em.” 

Reading on in Genesis (see previous blog posts), I am astounded at how stubborn and prideful men are. Not that it is any surprise, because I have witnessed it first-hand in my own life. And not just men…. look at Lot’s wife in chapter 19. When he and his family left Sodom, the angels told them to hurry and not to look back. What does his wife do? She looks, and is turned into a pillar of salt.

  “When they were safely out of the city, one of the angels ordered, ‘Run for your lives! And don’t look back or stop anywhere in the valley! Escape to the mountains, or you will be swept away!’ …. But Lot’s wife looked back as she was following behind him, and she turned into a pillar of salt.” – Genesis 19:17‭, ‬26 NLT  (http://bible.com/116/gen.19.17-26.NLT)

Abraham (Abram) continually pushes at God, as does Sarah (Sarai) his wife. Lot’s daughters sinned by having sex with their father – and Lot sinned by drinking himself into a stupor. In spite of all of these failings, God has continued to love them and bless them. There are wonderful stories of miracles throughout Genesis. There is fighting and intrique; there are love stories and deception. Every kind of story, because it is the true history of the human journey from creation through Joseph, a Hebrew boy who became second only to Pharaoh because of his faith and faithfulness to the LORD. 

The Bible is fascinating, because all of human history is contained in it. Science proves it’s accuracy, over and over again, through archeological discoveries and manuscripts. 

Why do we [not me, but so many people] insist that it is wrong? Is it our free will that causes us to be so stubborn and prideful? How can anyone look at nature and the diversity of all living things; the precision, of it all, and not believe in a Creator? The Big Bang could be the result of God clapping his hands…. but it had to come from something. Space dust, or whatever, had to come from somewhere. Plants and living creatures have certainly evolved over the years, but again, it wasn’t random. Don’t know about you, but I am certain that I did not evolve from an ape.

Men. As the saying goes, “Can’t live with ’em; can’t live without ’em.” Men say the same about women, because it’s true. We can’t live without each other, and we can’t LIVE without God. Over the ages, God has proven over and over how Faithful He is, just as mankind has proven how fickle and selfish we are. As much as we like to look back at our pasts, instead of focusing on the future God has for us, we should probably all be turned into pillars of salt. Fortunately for us, God is also Merciful.

  “For this is how God loved the world: He gave His ONE and ONLY SON, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have ETERNAL LIFE.  God sent His Son into the world not to judge the world, but to Save the world through Him. There is no judgment against anyone who believes in Him. But anyone who does not believe in Him has already been judged for not believing in God’s One and Only Son.” – John 3:16‭-‬18 NLT  (http://bible.com/116/jhn.3.16-18.NLT)

Eternal Life. No judgement. Why would anyone in their right mind refuse a gift like This? Expecially since it’s FREE?????

 

Ouch – God hit me again

​  “If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities.” – Luke 16:10 NLT (http://bible.com/116/luk.16.10.NLT)

No, He didn’t physically hit me, although I am convinced that He has handed out corporal punishment in the past. NOT by way of abuse, because God does not abuse or do evil.

 I believe He does punish us in physical ways when we disobey Him (that also includes disobeying parents 😉). Did you ever break a bone or hurt yourself while doing something you knew you weren’t supposed to? Yep, me, too. Wrecked or been involved in a wreck; gotten a ticket, were involved in a fight? How about detention, stood in the corner, or put in a time out? Gone to the principals office for ‘licks’? Thankfully I was never spanked by the principal, but I did make the walk of shame to his office and couple of times…. Shudder! 

Imagine what it will be like, standing before God’s Great White Throne, and having all of the wrong things you’ve done throughout your lifetime read out in front of the God of the Universe and all of His heavenly hosts. THAT idea makes me shudder!! I have broken all of God’s commandments. Before you throw out judgment, think on these words from Jesus: 

  “You have heard that our ancestors were told, ‘You must not murder. If you commit murder, you are subject to judgment.’  But I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone, you are in danger of the fires of hell!” – Matthew 5:21‭-‬22 NLT (http://bible.com/116/mat.5.21-22.NLT)

And in Proverbs 23:7 KJV – 

  “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he….” (

http://bible.com/1/pro.23.7.KJV)

So, by this, I have broken all of the commandments in my heart; therefore, I have to bear the consequences. I have been unfaithful in small things, and I have been dishonest in small things. I have to bear the consequences for those things, too. Sounds pretty hopeless, doesn’t it. Ah, but here’s the best part of this post:

  “For this is how GOD Loved the world: He gave His One and ONLY Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.  God sent His Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through Him. 

  There is no judgment against anyone who believes in Him. 

  But anyone who does not believe in Him has already been judged for not believing in God’s One and Only Son.  And the judgment is based on this fact: God’s Light came into the world, but people loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil.  All who do evil hate the light and refuse to go near it for fear their sins will be exposed.  But those who do what is right come to the light so others can see that they are doing what GOD wants.” – 

John 3:16‭-‬21 NLT (

http://bible.com/116/jhn.3.16-21.NLT)

NO judgement; NO condemnation!

Think on this for a bit…. 

Everlasting Love

​  “But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD’s Love is with those who Fear Him, and His Righteousness with their children’s children— with those who keep His Covenant and remember to obey His Precepts.” – Psalm 103:17‭-‬18 NIV (http://bible.com/111/psa.103.17-18.NIV)‬

Here we go again …. Obey God. But why?? I want to be in control; I want to be the “boss” and give orders; I want to be in charge. Oh, wait. All the bad choices, and rough decisions ? Those were my best thinking. Maybe I should let go and let God. After all, He has a proven track record of blessings and of eliminating and punishing those who deserve it. Look at Moses. (Start reading at Exodus chapter 2) He was incredibly blessed at crucial times in his life. He escaped a sure death as an infant because his mother trusted God’s words to her. He was raised as the privileged son of an Egyptian princess, alongside the boy who became the next Pharoah. As a young man, instead of using the proper channels, Moses killed an Egyptian for beating a Hebrew slave. As a consequence, Moses ran to save his own life – and again, God blessed him. Ultimately, Moses led the Hebrews out of Egypt where they were slaves, and into Jordan, the land God promised them. Because Moses led a rebellious bunch of people, and because of his own rebellion against God, he wasn’t allowed to enter Jordan with the rest of his people. 

  “The LORD was angry with me because of you, and He solemnly swore that I would not cross the Jordan and enter the good land the LORD your GOD is giving you as your inheritance. I will die in this land; I will not cross the Jordan; but you are about to cross over and take possession of that good land. Be careful not to forget the covenant of the LORD your GOD that He made with you; do not make for yourselves an idol in the form of anything the LORD your GOD has forbidden. For the LORD your GOD is a Consuming Fire, a Jealous GOD.” – Deuteronomy 4:21‭-‬24 NIV (http://bible.com/111/deu.4.21-24.NIV)‬

Even so, Moses was blessed, and you can see many of the times he was blessed by reading Exodus, Leviticus, and Deuteronomy. The Hebrew people were blessed over and over again, and they were punished many times as a consequence of their sins. Consider the life of Mary, the mother of Jesus. Do you see how incredibly faithful and blessed she was? She became pregnant with the Son of the Creator God, yet she endured riding a donkey and walking around 90 miles while 9 months pregnant. She gave birth in a stable (probably not as idyllic as we show it every Christmas!), she had to escape to Egypt to keep her young son alive, and finally, she saw her beloved son beaten almost to death and crucified. I can’t begin to imagine how brutal that was for her, but she remained faithful. I’m not sure I would have, and judging from my past, I didn’t stay faithful. 

My choice today is to accept my blessings and to be thankful for them, even when they feel more like punishments than blessings. The key is to follow Jesus Christ and to keep His commandments as best as I humanly can. 

  “Acknowledge and take to heart this day that the LORD is GOD in heaven above and on the earth below. There is no other. Keep His decrees and commands, which I am giving you today, so that it may go well with you and your children after you and that you may live long in the land the LORD your GOD gives you for all time.” – Deuteronomy 4:39‭-‬40 NIV (http://bible.com/111/deu.4.39-40.NIV)

We are no longer bound to the Ten Commandments, but then again, we are. Listen to how Jesus took the ten and summarized them into two:

  “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The LORD our GOD, the LORD is ONE.  Love the LORD your GOD with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’  The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  There is no commandment greater than these.” – Mark 12:29‭-‬31 NIV (http://bible.com/111/mrk.12.29-31.NIV)

This is recorded in Leviticus, in the gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and in James and Romans. Think maybe there’s something important being said here? If we put God first in our lives, and that means spending as much time with Him as we do for our football and basketball and jobs and kids and animals and whatever other gods we have, then He can bless us abundantly. More than we could ever imagine in our wildest dreams. It can be incredibly painful at times to follow these commands. “Loving my neighbor” means so much more than the person living next door. The entire population of the earth is our neighbor, and that includes the people who hurt us (past, present, and future). Because “… from everlasting to everlasting the LORD’s Love is with those who Fear him, and His Righteousness with their children’s children— with those who keep His covenant and remember to obey His precepts.” – Psalm 103:17‭-‬18 NIV (http://bible.com/111/psa.103.17-18.NIV)‬

EVERLASTING TO EVERLASTING. That’s how big God’s Love is for us, for ME, and for YOU.

Perturbed 

​per·turbed

pərˈtərbd/

adjective

anxious or unsettled; upset.

perturb. v. late 14c., from Old French perturber “disturb, confuse” (14c.) and directly from Latin perturbare “to confuse, disorder, disturb,” especially of states of the mind, from per- “through” (see per) + turbare “disturb, confuse,” from turba “turmoil, crowd” (see turbid). Related: Perturbed; perturbing.

I am perturbed. You don’t hear this word very often anymore, but I like it. The definition, especially the “disturb” part, is very apt right now. I have a love-hate relationship with electronics and technology. I love the capabilities and opportunities they present. I hate it when they don’t work the way I think they should…

“Perturbed” is a good word to describe the way many of us feel about God. We have that same love-hate relationship with the LORD as we (okay, me!) have with electronics. He disturbs us, and we are confused about Him. We get anxious and upset with God. He unsettles us! I have a friend who has been struggling with this for years. She is definitely perturbed with God and I get it. I know there are thousands of people in the same state of anxiousness who are upset with God. There are multiple reasons for the way they feel, from past hurts to present hurts and worries about future hurts, and they don’t understand how or why an All-powerful, Omnipotent God allows the hurt and the pain to continue. I get it, because I’ve been there. Every situation is different, but ultimately they are all the same. Hurt is hurt. Physical and emotional scarring is so difficult to deal with. We are never going to be free of the hurt until we let go of it. I can’t punish the perpetrators in my life, and the people whom I hurt can’t punish me, either. Oh, we can provide physical, earthly punishment, but that is nothing – nothing – compared to the judgment God will pass down. He will pass judgment, make no mistake! This scripture is a section that I have highlighted and copied many times, because I need to see it and remind myself of the words. 

  “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.  Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.  Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” “ – Romans 12:9‭-‬20 NIV (http://bible.com/111/rom.12.9-20.NIV)

Take a look again at verse 19: “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.” Paul is quoting from Deuteronomy 32: 35-36:

  “ “It is MINE to avenge; I will repay. In due time their foot will slip; their day of disaster is near and their doom rushes upon them.”  The LORD will vindicate His people and relent concerning His servants when He sees their strength is gone and no one is left, slave or free.” (http://bible.com/111/deu.32.35-36.NIV) 

Does reading all of this make me feel better? Not really, because my human nature wants to taste that revenge. I want to see my perpetrators hurt like I was hurt. Those verses finally soaked into my head and my heart a few years ago. I realized that by holding on to the hurt and the desire for revenge I was only hurting myself. Years ago, on one of my many trips driving from Albuquerque back to our home in Santa Fe, New Mexico, after visiting my {late} husband in the hospital there, a song by Steve and Annie Chapman (www.steveandanniechapman.com) came on the radio. It was called “The Secret Place,” and as I drove the realization of what they were saying hit me. The thing we do as humans is to take our secrets and cram them into places where we can’t see them. Given time, they will bust down the door they are locked behind and cause more pain in the remembering. We have a choice to make when it happens – give the “key” to Jesus and let Him clean up the mess, or stuff it back in and lock the door again. In New Mexico, I wasn’t ready to surrender all of my stuff. I got emotional in the car that night, and I did let go of the current baggage… but not the past. Before it all came tumbling out I slammed and locked that door, tight. Too much pain that I didn’t want to feel. 

I remained a prisoner to my hurts, hang ups, and habits for a long time.

God is patient. He doesn’t cause us to be hurt. That responsibility falls on Adam and Eve and their fall from Grace. They exercised their free will and chose to disobey God and eat of the forbidden tree. It also rests on Satan, the enemy, who gained temporary control over the earth through their disobedience. (Just until Jesus returns, and then our enemy Satan will be vanquished and thrown into the lake of fire; Amen!!)  There is so much wrong with the earth and everything and everyone in it because of the evil of the enemy. Satan makes temptation into a beautiful thing until you are deep in it; then you get to see the ugliness. He perpetrates evil. Even innocent children are drawn into the ugliness of sin. We get to deal with the consequences of this throughout our lives. Sometimes we see glimpses of the beauty God created in nature and in humans, and that’s a wonderful thing. For someone who is stuck in the cycle of sin, it’s so incredibly difficult to see past the darkness that threatens to overcome them. It can perturb you when you are trying to fight your way out of the darkness. 

Here’s the thing. We don’t have to fight it. Does that sound moronic to you? I can see why if it does, because I’ve been where you are. More importantly, JESUS has been where you are. The hurt you feel, the temptation you face, being unsettled and anxious about the Father… Jesus has been there. Look at the battle He faced in the Garden of Gethsemane, praying and pleading for His Father, the All-knowing, All-powerful, Almighty GOD to take away the pain He was facing. He ended His prayer with “THY will be done, not Mine.” Here is this man Jesus, a part of God, Who has the power to call in a thousand angels to deliver Him from what He knew was going to happen, and He prayed “Not My will, but The Father’s.”

That’s a bitter pill, a harsh reality, to swallow. He could have skipped the torture and the cross, but He didn’t. He willingly went in order to offer us eternal salvation from this hell on earth. Nothing we suffer here even comes close to what He suffered at His “trial” and the punishment He received before He was hung on a cross, which by itself is perhaps the cruelest, most devastating way ever to be devised by man to cause the most suffering before death. Belief in Jesus doesn’t take away the evil we deal with on a daily basis. If you believe and let go of the baggage – He will take it and give you freedom in your soul. When I FINALLY released my baggage, that bag full of grief and frustration and guilt, hurt and anger and desire for revenge, I was free. FREE. Free from the prison bars I had created to keep others in but in reality had me trapped while they were out there roaming free. I don’t have to carry all of that garbage anymore. That doesn’t mean that my perpetrators have been punished, but it their judgment and their punishment isn’t up to me. They might be prosperous by the world’s standards, but it doesn’t matter to me anymore. God will judge them. GOD will judge them.  I had to forgive them, and even today, when a thought crosses my mind to remind me of the evil, I have to forgive them again. It’s a lifelong process. Let me make something clear. Just because I forgive the person, it does not excuse them and it doesn’t mean I have to forget it. I have to follow what God says, though. “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse…. If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” (Romans 12)

That is NOT what I want to do! It takes a strength I can only receive from Christ Jesus, my Savior, to forgive and to pray for those people. My preference would be to curse them to a horrible death – and then I remember, God’s got this. I can let it go. Once we give Him the baggage, does it make ANY sense to take it back? Not sure about you, but when I am physically struggling with something, I welcome the help if someone offers, especially if they can take it over! Why, when it comes to God and His willingness to take the weight for us, are we so stubborn that we continue to shout at Him, “I CAN DO IT” when we KNOW we can’t? (NOT that I would know anything about that …. Hahahaa!)

I will continue to be perturbed by electronic devices, but I don’t need to be perturbed with God any longer. He has my baggage, and I have His assurance of a  lifetime together with Him. Bad stuff still happens. I don’t like it, but I don’t have to carry it alone. I now have an army of angels to help me! And sometimes out of stubbornness and pride I still cry out “I can do it!” – until I feel the weight and remember I’m not doing it alone anymore, hallelujah! We have to learn to trust God. He’s totally unlike any other being, and He is certainly not like any man on earth. He will never hurt us or lie to us or betray us. Man will ALWAYS do those things. No matter how good or honorable we try to be, sin always sneaks in and causes us to fall. Thankfully, once we accept God’s forgiveness for ourselves, and we begin to forgive others, keeping in mind it is a lifelong process, we can finally be at peace. By the way, the peace that God gives us, that “peace that passes all understanding” is 

indescribable. It allows joy into our lives, and when it happens, even our physical bodies can reflect it in fewer ailments and complaints. Kind of a bonus. Life is so good when we give up all of the baggage. We become free to enjoy life. It’s easier to let things go that used to just tie me up in knots. The person who cuts me off in traffic gets a wave (not the one finger wave, either) or I might call them an idiot, but I am not compelled to yell or cuss or chase them down. The person who cuts in line, I try to just smile and say go ahead. It’s much easier on me than getting upset. It also confuses people when I smile instead of frowning. This is only possible for me through the Grace of God, and it is possible for you, too. Listen to the song by Stephen Curtis Chapman “Jesus.” He tells us all we need to know.

Jesus. The sweetest Name I know.

Man vs. Woman

​  “So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening.

  Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. 

  “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” 

  This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” – Genesis 2:21‭-‬24 NLT 

Why did God have do go and do it that way? Creating us (women) From man? Wouldn’t it have been better done the other way around….since we women {ahem} are the “better” sex? I say this tongue-in-cheek, but the reality is this: “So God created mankind in His OWN image, in the image of God He created them; male and female He created them.” – Genesis 1:27 NIV

God created us in His image. Both male and female. One is not better than the other. We are equally special in God’s sight. Men were designed to be be providers through tilling the soil (i.e. gardening for you hard core “that’s women’s work” males) and hunting. Women were designed to be the keepers of the home; to raise up children to be productive adults. If you don’t believe me, read Genesis. Even though these are our core designs, it doesn’t mean that a man can’t- or shouldn’t – step in and assume the responsibility of keeping the home (and children) if necessary. The same is true of women. If/when circumstances require it, we are perfectly capable of taking on the “man’s” work. It isn’t chauvinistic to consider it right for a man to support his family, but it is definitely reverse chauvinism for a woman to expect to be waited on by the man. We are designed to provide for and to care for each other, doing whatever it takes to do so. Throughout the years since Eve took the fruit from the tree of knowlege and shared it with Adam, our roles and relationships and responsibilities have gotten twisted. In the corrupt world we have lived in since we were evicted from the Garden, men act as women and women act as men, and the regard for the family as defined by God is disrespected by millions of people.

I spent years supporting myself (and usually some man). There were periods where two of my husbands supported me financially, and a short period of spiritual leadership. I was in a desert of my own creation, because I had walked away from God. Let me put some emphasis on that statement. The desert was my creation,  because I had walked away from God. He did not walk away, He did not turn His back; it was all on me, and it was all about me. God doesn’t turn His back on us, and He does not cause bad things to happen to us. That’s all on us and our free will…. consequences for our choices. Sometimes, unfortunately, the sins of others that are perpetrated against us involve us in the consequences. Again, this is not God’s choice, but ours. If you are going to be angry and blame someone, claim it first for your own poor choices, then put it back on Adam and Eve. A much better choice is to lay it all at Jesus’ feet. Eliminate the anger and frustration and fury and discover what it means to have real peace for a change! It won’t change your circumstances, and it certainly won’t change the people around you. It takes crawling out of that rut we are comfortable in, in spite if the pain of getting out. Change is hard, and change hurts. Even happy change can mean more physical and emotional pain until we are out of the rut. God has great things to offer His people, and all we have to do is open our hands and accept His gifts! Why are we so stubborn?… 

You may never have the perfect spouse, or perfect, pain-free health; there may be serious consequences, even such as prison for our actions. That fancy mansion and expensive cars, and multimillion dollar lottery win probably aren’t going to happen, either. My past – and my future  – doesn’t have any of those things! I have had (very imperfect) spouses who loved me very much, and I am blessed to live in a better place now than I ever foresaw happening, with a (very imperfect) man who adores me…. and as a very imperfect female, I find that I adore Him, too. Life is not perfect. That’s a fact. God didn’t create man and woman to be at each other’s throats. It’s not Man vs. Woman. He designed us to compliment and to complete each other. He also has built in a sort of safety net for those people who are on their own. Jesus can be – is – the perfect compliment to a single’s life, if we only will allow Him in.

These are just my thoughts, and if you are offended…. I can’t – and won’t – apologize for speaking the truth.

(All scriptures are from the Bible app YouVersion.com)