Tag: #Faith

I Am A Fraud

I am a fraud.

That is tough to admit to. My spirit feels broken, weighted down by the mess of this earthly life. Most days I can push through at some point and get something done…. Oh, who am I kidding? Most days, I struggle to get the most mundane tasks done; feeding the dogs and caring for the cats; getting outside to let my girls out (my hens, Daisy and Lily ☺ ), feeding myself. Some days, I have headaches that make it difficult to focus and I really don’t want to deal with anyone. A friend once told me she had never been depressed a day in her life, and I just needed to get over it. Sure. It should be so easy! I know the Scriptures encourage joy:

“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.” – Proverbs 17:22 NLT

(I’m tired.)

“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.” – James 1:2 NLT

(Joy, schmoy. Don’t all of these happy people realize that not everyone is on the same plane as they are? Bleh.)

As a Christian, a follower of Jesus Christ, I know all the platitudes for depressed people…. I’ve spoken those platitudes to others, many times. Today, though, the Psalms speak directly to me, speaking truth that only my LORD knows:

“Let my soul be at rest again, for the LORD has been good to me. He has saved me from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling. And so I walk in the LORD’s presence as I live here on earth! I believed in you, so I said, “I am deeply troubled, LORD.” – Psalms 116:7‭-‬10 NLT

It’s odd to be depressed and at peace simultaneously. An oxymoron. Is it even possible? Absolutely. I take joy today from a bit of history that means nothing to millions, but for other millions, and to me, it means EVERYTHING. Our LORD allowed us to hang Him on a cross; to spill His blood. To kill Him – to MURDER Him, the single most innocent and only sinless person to ever live. The cross was meant to kill Jesus, instead, it has become our Victory! The cross is empty, and His tomb is empty, because our JESUS conquered has death, and He will come back to defeat Satan, once and for all. How can I be sure? Simple. I read the back of the Book, and it is GLORIOUS! Satan uses depression to hold us down while we are on earth, and I may never completely escape it – but in the end, we will overcome the old snake and be victorious with our GOD. In the meantime, dealing with life here on earth, we do the best we can with the knowlege and experience we have. Leaning on JESUS is the only way I can make it! (And that’s another great hymn!)

Listen to “My Victory” by the David Crowder Band, and read these words to “Victory In Jesus” – I adore this hymn and it’s TRUTH.

I heard an old, old story,
How a Savior came from glory,
How He gave His life on Calvary
To save a wretch like me;
I heard about His groaning,
Of His precious blood’s atoning,
Then I repented of my sins
And won the victory.

Chorus
O victory in Jesus,
My Savior, forever.
He sought me and bought me
With His redeeming blood;
He loved me ere I knew Him
And all my love is due Him,
He plunged me to victory,
Beneath the cleansing flood.

The Day the Music Cried…

It was with sadness when the first thing I saw on my newsfeed this morning, was the announcement that the Reverend Billy Graham has passed away from earth this morning. Sad for us left here, because for decades, he has been such a godly example for us to see. A man whose life reflected his love of the LORD, who was truly a follower of CHRIST and not the world. Such a dynamic man, one who was not afraid to take a stand for his God. Every Christian alive should take note of that. It is sad that his family has lost his earthly presence, and it is truly difficult for those of us who are left behind.

But, OH! The rejoicing, the singing and dancing and Glorious welcome Mr. Graham is receiving in heaven! He is united at last with his beloved Saviour, JESUS, and with his sweet wife, Ruth. I’m sure my Daddy was standing there, too, waiting to welcome him Home. The hosts of Heaven rejoice, while we on earth grieve the loss of his physical presence. This is a man who was instrumental in leading thousands of people to the Saving Grace of our LORD, Jesus Christ! On earth we cry for the moment, and feel as though the music has died…. but in Heaven, I think the songs, the music, must be loud and alive! I think this verse shows how Mr. Graham lived his life, just as though the LORD was speaking directly to him, just as we fellow Christians should be living:

“This is My Command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your GOD is with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9 NLT

The loss of our earthly fathers is heart-wrenching, because they have left us here on earth without them. I miss my own, but I just can’t get past the image of how incredibly happy and excited he must be right now; now, because he is finally with his JESUS. Where will you be, where will your soul be, when your earthly body dies? Is death something you are afraid of; will you be reunited with loved ones, with you SAVIOR, or will you be lost in eternity with no hope of anything except damnation?

I pray today the even in death, Billy Graham will continue to show people the way to real salvation. Strength and courage belong to those who choose and follow the LORD. HEAR the Words of Jesus:

“I have come as a Light to Shine in this Dark world, so that all who put their trust in Me will no longer remain in the dark. I will not judge those who hear Me but don’t obey Me, for I have come to save the world and not to judge it. But all who reject Me and My Message will be judged on the Day of Judgment by the Truth I have spoken. I don’t speak on My own authority. The Father who sent Me has commanded Me what to say and how to say it. And I know His Commands lead to eternal life; so I say whatever the Father tells Me to say.” – John 12:46‭-‬50 NLT

Thank you, Reverend Graham, for doing and saying what God commanded.

Patience. Not My Virtue

Ever feel this way? I’ve often said I have about this much [ ] patience….. and yes, I am serious. Patience is not a virtue of mine. I am impatient; I get frustrated when things don’t happen quickly enough to suit me. Basically, LIFE / PEOPLE irritate me with their slowness, and I am tired. Tired of people taking advantage of me and others. Tired of broken promises; tired of being lied to. I’m tired of the struggle to just survive. BUT, I believe in GOD, Who is the Creator, Almighty and Omniscient, and I believe His promises.

“Then call on Me when you are in trouble, and I will rescue you, and you will give Me Glory….. But giving thanks is a sacrifice that truly honors Me. If you keep to My path, I will reveal to you the Salvation of God.” – Psalms 50:15‭, ‬23 NLT

I believe in GOD the Father, GOD the Son, and GOD the Holy Spirit. I believe that just as He cares for the birds of the air and the creatures on the ground and the fishes in the sea, so He cares for me. I am so thankful for the many blessings He has poured out on me. So WHY is it so difficult to trust in His timing? I literally have no way to pay my mortgage or utilities or car right now, as I write this, and no prospects for a job, despite the dozens – hundreds, even, of applications I have sent out. Today I woke up and finally dragged myself out of bed, weighed down with hopelessness and despair, and this is the verse that greeted me:

“The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think.” – 2 Peter 3:9a NLT

If He isn’t being slow, then what is the next step I should take? Most of my furniture is on several online ‘for sale’ boards; I continue to seek adequate employment. Do I start packing? Should I put my house on the market? On my knees in prayer, I beseech the Holy God of the universe to have pity on me; to open an opportunity, to provide enough; to show me His will and what direction He wants me to go. As I write, on the radio Crowder is singing “All my Hope is in Jesus…..” Yes, I believe, LORD. Show me how to get through this dark, dark valley! (And please don’t give me more opportunities to learn patience, LORD!) Amen.

WHY Do Christians Act This Way?

Listen to these words from Paul to the church in Corinth, and his plea to God to remove the “thorn” in his flesh:

“Each time {God} said, “My Grace is all you need. My Power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me….. For I am afraid that when I come I won’t like what I find, and you won’t like my response. I am afraid that I will find quarreling, jealousy, anger, selfishness, slander, gossip, arrogance, and disorderly behavior. Yes, I am afraid that when I come again, God will humble me in your presence. And I will be grieved because many of you have not given up your old sins. You have not repented of your impurity, sexual immorality, and eagerness for lustful pleasure.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9‭, ‬20‭-‬21 NLT

In verse 9, Paul is admitting to his weakness. We don’t know if it was a physical condition or perhaps it was pride, or arrogance? Whatever it was, God uses Paul’s weakness in his ministry. I love that sentence, “My Grace is all you need.” God’s Grace is all I need. Many times in his letters, Paul pleaded with the people to pray for. In many ways today, we do the same thing in prayer requests…. only too many times the prayer chain is used a gossip line. “We need to pray for Brother Tom. He’s struggling in his marriage. He just doesn’t see how good he has it with that wife and business of his. Did you see his new assistant? Why, I would never cheat on my marriage! Mercy, his wife must be a wretch behind closed doors! I just wish I had his good fortune!”

I’ve heard similar stories passed on as “prayer requests” many times. We use the opportunity of a prayer request to grill that person for details. There’s nothing wrong with asking for what specifically they want prayer for, but we really don’t need the details. In my study groups, I have interrupted someone digging for dirt by saying “We don’t need the details because God knows them already, so let’s pray.” and then leading the group in prayer. We all make mistakes in our lives. Even the greatest Christians to ever live were human, are human, and sin. It could be a little lie, and it could be have sex with someone other that your spouse. It could be gossip, or it could even be murder. God doesn’t differentiate between these sins. Sin is sin, period. “…..quarreling, jealousy, anger, selfishness, slander, gossip, arrogance, and disorderly behavior…… impurity, sexual immorality, and eagerness for lustful pleasure.” We are ALL quilty of these things, so be careful of your judgemental attitude!

Yes, I am one of “those people,” and I can only give my LORD the credit for saving me from that lifestyle of self-indulgence and lustfulness. I am not now, nor will I ever be perfect. I am broken, but Jesus has put me back together. I love this quote “I’m not perfect, just forgiven.” This doesn’t give me Carte Blanche to think and act however I please today. It actually reminds me of my past and how incredibly loving my God is to love me and forgive me, in spite of myself. It also reminds me of this saying “To whom much is given, much is expected.” God gives us forgiveness along with our salvation. That is HUGE. As Christians, we have been given Eternal Life with our LORD. Shouldn’t we be sharing that, instead of sharing all the dirt? We need to growing together……

Word

“In the beginning was the WORD, and the WORD was with GOD, and the WORD was GOD.” – John 1:1 KJV, ESV, NIV, YLT1898, DRC1752

Beautiful. I love that in a number of different versions of the Bible, the words of this verse remain translated exactly the same. Of the versions I looked at, only the NLT was slightly changed: “In the beginning the WORD already existed. The WORD was with GOD, and the WORD was GOD.” – John 1:1 NLT

There is NO ONE like our GOD. Three years ago, I wrote that I was reading Isaiah, and I find that I need those words again today. I love reading this book. It’s part thanksgiving, and part prophecy. I think God gave the outline of the prophecy of the end of the earth as we know it to Isaiah, then hundreds of years later gave the details to John to complete writing the prophecy. (See The Revelations of John….) Prophesy or not, the book of Isaiah is full of beautiful passages about trusting God and praising Him.

“LORD, You will keep me in perfect peace when I commit myself to be faithful to You; when my thoughts are fixed on YOU. That’s because I trust in You. I will put my Trust in the LORD forever. The LORD GOD is my Eternal ROCK. The LORD will keep me safe forever. LORD, you give me Peace. The One who has done everything I have accomplished is really You.” – Paraphrased from Isaiah 26:3-4,12 NLT

Thank You, God, for giving us the scriptures to guide us and to remind us of Your true nature. Thank You for the daily reminders to put my Hope and my Trust in You. Thank You for the promise of the Faith I seem to have so little – but You said all I need is Faith the size of a mustard seed. Thank You for the Gift of Your Son Jesus, and the washing away of my sins. Finally, thank You, LORD, for the trials and tribulations that give me the opportunity to really put my Trust in You and You alone. Thank You for the storms….. Amen.

I’m Not Religious

“That is what the Scriptures mean when they say, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what GOD has prepared for those who love Him.” …. But people who aren’t spiritual can’t receive these truths from God’s Spirit. It all sounds foolish to them and they can’t understand it, for only those who are spiritual can understand what the Spirit means.” – 1 Corinthians 2:9‭, ‬14 NLT

I don’t really care for people calling me “religious.” To me, religion is something people do to show to the rest of the world how “good” they are. I’m not “good”, and there is no way that anything I can do is going to get me to heaven. There aren’t enough Hail Mary’s, and there aren’t enough sacrifices or prayers to wash me clean enough. No, I have enough sin in my past to keep me as far away from God as there is distance. Blessed be His Holy Name, this is exactly where Jesus Messiah meets us! I can’t do enough, but He can do EVERYTHING. My mind can’t comprehend any love that big, and that’s exactly what verse 9 is telling us. “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what GOD has prepared for those who love Him.” I can’t see it, I can’t hear it, I can’t even imagine what God has for me. It’s difficult to even think that He loves me; that Jesus LOVED me, enough to leave heaven and come here to cover me with His saving Grace.

Think about this. If Christians have a hard time understanding how deep and how wide our Saviour’s Love goes; how all-encompassing His Love is, how can the unbeliever, the spiritually parched, believe it? LORD, don’t let me be perceived as religious by the world. I pray that the unbeliever will see a difference in me, and that they will want to know how to achieve that peace for themselves. Especially through this time of trial, help me to remain faithful to You and Your commandment. Help me to maintain my faith in You, and my belief in Your faithfulness to me. As I stumble through this time, I know I am not alone and I pray that I recognize Your Strength as You carry me. Show me how to be spiritual, and not religious. Help me remember this: “He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.” – Psalms 103:12 NLT AMEN.

A Story of Faith

What is faith? One definition says “Complete trust or confidence in someone or something.” Whenever I think I about faith, this scripture from Mark comes to mind – “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24 NLT) This seems to be my state of mind much of the time. I want to believe without question; I know that God is stronger than the enemy and that He is in control. Why is it so difficult?

“When Jesus had finished saying all this to the people, he returned to Capernaum. At that time the highly valued slave of a Roman officer was sick and near death. When the officer heard about Jesus, he sent some respected Jewish elders to ask him to come and heal his slave. So they earnestly begged Jesus to help the man. “If anyone deserves your help, he does,” they said, “for he loves the Jewish people and even built a synagogue for us.” So Jesus went with them. But just before they arrived at the house, the officer sent some friends to say, “Lord, don’t trouble yourself by coming to my home, for I am not worthy of such an honor. I am not even worthy to come and meet you. Just say the word from where you are, and my servant will be healed. I know this because I am under the authority of my superior officers, and I have authority over my soldiers. I only need to say, ‘Go,’ and they go, or ‘Come,’ and they come. And if I say to my slaves, ‘Do this,’ they do it.” When Jesus heard this, he was amazed. Turning to the crowd that was following him, he said, “I tell you, I haven’t seen faith like this in all Israel!” And when the officer’s friends returned to his house, they found the slave completely healed.” – Luke 7:1‭-‬10 NLT

Here is a man, a Roman officer, enemy to the Jews, and he believes. He has a truly remarkable faith to believe that a man despised by both Jews and Romans, this man Jesus, can heal his servant with just a word…. from a distance! Could I do this? I can tell you that no, I couldn’t. When faced with life-threatening illness and injury, I need a hands-on, physical touch to reassure me. What does that say about someone who grew up in a Christian home, with the teachings of Christ instilled in me from the time I comprehend, and even before that, as an infant? A Roman soldier had more faith than I do? Seems almost inconceivable, doesn’t it? I struggle to rest in the Lord; to believe that He sees the end of this quagmire I find myself in.

The faith of a mustard seed is all we need, according to Jesus. With that minuscule amount of faith, literally about the size of the period at the end of this sentence, we can move mountains. Not a figurative mountain; Jesus was speaking of a literal mountain. Hear him: “You don’t have enough faith,” Jesus told them. “I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.” – Matthew 17:20 NLT

Where is my mustard seed, LORD?