I Am A Fraud

I am a fraud.

That is tough to admit to. My spirit feels broken, weighted down by the mess of this earthly life. Most days I can push through at some point and get something done…. Oh, who am I kidding? Most days, I struggle to get the most mundane tasks done; feeding the dogs and caring for the cats; getting outside to let my girls out (my hens, Daisy and Lily ☺ ), feeding myself. Some days, I have headaches that make it difficult to focus and I really don’t want to deal with anyone. A friend once told me she had never been depressed a day in her life, and I just needed to get over it. Sure. It should be so easy! I know the Scriptures encourage joy:

“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.” – Proverbs 17:22 NLT

(I’m tired.)

“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.” – James 1:2 NLT

(Joy, schmoy. Don’t all of these happy people realize that not everyone is on the same plane as they are? Bleh.)

As a Christian, a follower of Jesus Christ, I know all the platitudes for depressed people…. I’ve spoken those platitudes to others, many times. Today, though, the Psalms speak directly to me, speaking truth that only my LORD knows:

“Let my soul be at rest again, for the LORD has been good to me. He has saved me from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling. And so I walk in the LORD’s presence as I live here on earth! I believed in you, so I said, “I am deeply troubled, LORD.” – Psalms 116:7‭-‬10 NLT

It’s odd to be depressed and at peace simultaneously. An oxymoron. Is it even possible? Absolutely. I take joy today from a bit of history that means nothing to millions, but for other millions, and to me, it means EVERYTHING. Our LORD allowed us to hang Him on a cross; to spill His blood. To kill Him – to MURDER Him, the single most innocent and only sinless person to ever live. The cross was meant to kill Jesus, instead, it has become our Victory! The cross is empty, and His tomb is empty, because our JESUS conquered has death, and He will come back to defeat Satan, once and for all. How can I be sure? Simple. I read the back of the Book, and it is GLORIOUS! Satan uses depression to hold us down while we are on earth, and I may never completely escape it – but in the end, we will overcome the old snake and be victorious with our GOD. In the meantime, dealing with life here on earth, we do the best we can with the knowlege and experience we have. Leaning on JESUS is the only way I can make it! (And that’s another great hymn!)

Listen to “My Victory” by the David Crowder Band, and read these words to “Victory In Jesus” – I adore this hymn and it’s TRUTH.

I heard an old, old story,
How a Savior came from glory,
How He gave His life on Calvary
To save a wretch like me;
I heard about His groaning,
Of His precious blood’s atoning,
Then I repented of my sins
And won the victory.

Chorus
O victory in Jesus,
My Savior, forever.
He sought me and bought me
With His redeeming blood;
He loved me ere I knew Him
And all my love is due Him,
He plunged me to victory,
Beneath the cleansing flood.

What Is Your Cross?

“Then He {JESUS} said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be My follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross daily, and follow Me.” – Luke 9:23 NLT

What is your cross? I feel like mine changes with the seasons of my life. For now, it seems to be a combination of things. Not having a companion, lack of financial stability, physical issues. Looking at my life, though, I know that these things that feel so heavy to me are really minor in view of the world. I know that these are more “crosses” because of my wants, not because of any real needs. I may not have a spouse to share my life with, but I have wonderful friends and family who love me (in spite of me!). My financial state is somewhat precarious, but in spite of my lack of preparation in life, I have a house – a warm, secure home – and somehow, I have enough to live, day by day. The physical issues are being addressed, and I understand that even though the pain and discomfort may never go away, nothing is life-threatening. So then, what is my cross?

My cross is insecurity and fear of the unknown of life here on earth; my cross is giving up the control I think I have over my life. News flash to self : there is NO control when I am in charge of things! Giving up control is at the heart of what JESUS said. “…. you must give up your own way ….”

But Jesus said again, “Dear children, it is very hard [for those who trust in riches] to enter the Kingdom of God. In fact, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God!” – Mark 10:24‭b-‬25 NLT

That’s pretty clear, but we humans are hard-headed. We want, if not millions, then enough money and things to be comfortable on our terms, not God’s. Like the Apostle Paul, I have had plenty, and I have had nothing. Unlike Paul, I have not been very thankful in my circumstances! Followers of Christ need to recognize that our lives may be, probably will be, less than comfortable in this life, even difficult and painful to the end.

JESUS said “…. I assure you that everyone who has given up house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or property, for My sake and for the Good News, will receive now in return a hundred times as many houses, brothers, sisters, mothers, children, and property—along with persecution. And in the world to come that person will have Eternal Life. But many who are the greatest now will be least important then, and those who seem least important now will be the greatest then.” – Mark 10:29‭-‬31 NLT

Listen to “Gracefully Broken” by Matt Redman

In The Storm

Hangin’ in. That’s what I’m doing. I get where the saying “hang in there” could have originated. When you are in a fierce storm, you have two choices: hang on to something, or be blown away. I don’t really want to be blown away; I don’t want to be blown out of my life as I know it, but with the winds of change hammering away, sometimes we (I) don’t get much of a choice. I want to steer for the clear skies and get away from the hurricane that seems to be parked on top of me, but I know that my strength alone isn’t enough to save me. Because of the enemy, aka Satan, our life on earth is full of storms, from light rains to Cat 5 hurricanes. The goal of the enemy is take away any shred Light and Hope we have. He is the Father of Lies, he wants us at his mercy, and he will do anything in his power to achieve mastery over us. I tell you, from experience, it’s a dark, dark place that his winds will take you to. There will be an illusion, a mirage, of beauty and light to entice you; smooth winds and apparent joy…. but beware! That illusion will fade away and you will find yourself in a whirlpool of despair that you cannot escape – by your own strength. Only one way exists to take you out of the enemy’s grip; ONE WAY only, and that Way is through JESUS CHRIST.

“Commit everything you do to the LORD. Trust Him, and He will help you.” – Psalms 37:5 NLT

“For I can do everything through CHRIST, Who gives me strength.” – Philippians 4:13 NLT

Simple solution, but often really difficult to implement in our lives. It’s that ‘free will’ thing. We want control of our lives. It’s all part of the enemy’s illusion, people! Satan wants us to believe that Jesus – JESUS – was just a prophet, a good man, albeit a misguided one. After all, the enemy whispers, Jesus was tortured and killed and buried just as any man …. he says the Jesus is no different from Mohammed or Buddha or John Smith…. Focus on the real truth. THE Truth, that the Son of the Almighty Creator God left His home in Heaven, to come to earth and be the ultimate, final sacrifice for our sins. Jesus is coming back, too, and this time it won’t be as the Sacrificial Lamb of God. No, this time, He will return on a white horse [told you horses are in heaven!], with a sword in His Hand and surrounded by the Angel Armies. He will conquer Death and Evil and Satan, once and for all. I’m tired, LORD, tired of the storms here on earth. I pray You will return quickly! Until then, my life is in Your Hands, and I rely on Your Strength.

Listen to “Eye of the Storm” by Ryan Stevenson.

Thankful. Bah, Humbug!

“Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:18 NLT

Do you find it difficult to be thankful for whatever it is you are dealing with in your life? No companion/spouse/helpmate, no retirement, no job; chronic illness, disease, sick child/family member; death of a loved one? No power, no heat/AC, no transportation, no food ….. no home? Infested with fleas, spiders, roaches, snakes? I’m sure I have left something off!

Beginning at the beginning of human history; since Adam and Eve made the fatal decision to eat the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, humans have had to deal with a plethora of hard circumstances. Just a few: Joseph was sold into slavery by his own brothers. David was chased and persecuted by King Saul. Moses had some sort of speech impediment. The Apostles and disciples of JESUS have been beaten, persecuted, flogged, abused, and killed since the beings of their ministries. The persecution of Christians hasn’t stopped. Even in their agony, they have proclaimed JESUS, and thanked GOD for the privilege to be sacrificed for His Glory. There are hundreds, thousands, even millions of examples throughout our history of people giving thanks to God in the midst of depravation and trials. Very few of us today have any real reasons to complain, but we have plenty of reasons to be thankful. This is, to me, the biggest reason to be thankful:

“And I am convinced that NOTHING can ever separate us from GOD’s Love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from GOD’s Love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the Love of GOD that is revealed in CHRIST JESUS our LORD.” – Romans 8:38‭-‬39 NLT

If there is something big and ugly going on in your life, be Thankful for the little things .…. Remember toilet paper! ….. And remember JESUS!

The Day the Music Cried…

It was with sadness when the first thing I saw on my newsfeed this morning, was the announcement that the Reverend Billy Graham has passed away from earth this morning. Sad for us left here, because for decades, he has been such a godly example for us to see. A man whose life reflected his love of the LORD, who was truly a follower of CHRIST and not the world. Such a dynamic man, one who was not afraid to take a stand for his God. Every Christian alive should take note of that. It is sad that his family has lost his earthly presence, and it is truly difficult for those of us who are left behind.

But, OH! The rejoicing, the singing and dancing and Glorious welcome Mr. Graham is receiving in heaven! He is united at last with his beloved Saviour, JESUS, and with his sweet wife, Ruth. I’m sure my Daddy was standing there, too, waiting to welcome him Home. The hosts of Heaven rejoice, while we on earth grieve the loss of his physical presence. This is a man who was instrumental in leading thousands of people to the Saving Grace of our LORD, Jesus Christ! On earth we cry for the moment, and feel as though the music has died…. but in Heaven, I think the songs, the music, must be loud and alive! I think this verse shows how Mr. Graham lived his life, just as though the LORD was speaking directly to him, just as we fellow Christians should be living:

“This is My Command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your GOD is with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9 NLT

The loss of our earthly fathers is heart-wrenching, because they have left us here on earth without them. I miss my own, but I just can’t get past the image of how incredibly happy and excited he must be right now; now, because he is finally with his JESUS. Where will you be, where will your soul be, when your earthly body dies? Is death something you are afraid of; will you be reunited with loved ones, with you SAVIOR, or will you be lost in eternity with no hope of anything except damnation?

I pray today the even in death, Billy Graham will continue to show people the way to real salvation. Strength and courage belong to those who choose and follow the LORD. HEAR the Words of Jesus:

“I have come as a Light to Shine in this Dark world, so that all who put their trust in Me will no longer remain in the dark. I will not judge those who hear Me but don’t obey Me, for I have come to save the world and not to judge it. But all who reject Me and My Message will be judged on the Day of Judgment by the Truth I have spoken. I don’t speak on My own authority. The Father who sent Me has commanded Me what to say and how to say it. And I know His Commands lead to eternal life; so I say whatever the Father tells Me to say.” – John 12:46‭-‬50 NLT

Thank you, Reverend Graham, for doing and saying what God commanded.

We All Bleed The Same – WARNING. This Is NOT A Politically Correct Post

So much ugly going on in the world! Wars and rumors of wars. Brothers killing brothers. Marriage disdained and disrespected. Unnatural relationships; paedophiles in the news every day, same-sex relationships glorified in the media. School shootings, church shootings, workplace shootings. Mass killings in public places.

Christians are having to dig deep to find the courage to stand today. It is politically incorrect to proclaim Jesus Christ as LORD, but It’s encouraged to worship anything, anyONE, besides our GOD. Is it really courage we lack, as much as it is the desire to be liked and to be a part of the popular scene? I’ve never been very courageous, myself. I was a shrinking violet, a wallflower, in junior high and high school. Once I was at college, I connected with the ‘cool kids’ – the rebels from the restrictive Christian families we came from. Hear these words from Jesus to us!

“But I have this complaint against you. You don’t Love Me or each other as you did at first! Look how far you have fallen! Turn back to me and do the works you did at first. If you don’t repent, I will come and remove your Lampstand from its place among the churches.”

“I know about your suffering and your poverty—but you are rich! I know the blasphemy of those opposing you. They say they are Jews, but they are not, because their synagogue belongs to Satan. Don’t be afraid of what you are about to suffer. The devil will throw some of you into prison to test you. You will suffer for ten days. But if you remain faithful even when facing death, I will give you the Crown of LIFE.” – Revelation 2:4‭-‬5‭, ‬9‭-‬10 NLT

The LORD knows our suffering, and He is practically begging us to turn to Him; to be FAITHFUL to Him in our despair. When I rely on JESUS and rest in His Arms, He lifts me up and gives me a peace that surpasses and rises above the mess surrounding me. He wants to do the same for you and every person alive. All you have to do is ask Him. He will give you all that you need. JESUS is not about being a Liberal or a Conservative; Republican, Democrat, or Independent. He doesn’t care where you were born, or how much money you have. The color of your hair and skin is irrelevant. It doesn’t matter if you are the richest man on earth or the poorest of the poor, living in abject poverty. We all bleed the same, we all have one soul, and we all have a choice. JESUS, or the world. JESUS, and an ETERNITY with Him in Love, or Satan, the world, and an ETERNITY in hell and unspeakable, unimaginable suffering. Satan is Fear, and Fear is a Liar. JESUS is Truth. If you choose not to choose, then you have made you choice. You have to ask Jesus into your heart and life. He’ll never force Himself on you.

“But those who drink the Water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them Eternal Life.” – John 4:14 NLT

“So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the LORD, for you know that nothing you do for the LORD is ever useless.” – 1 Corinthians 15:58 NLT

Maybe our prayer today shoud be for the courage to be politically incorrect, and to let our choice of JESUS CHRIST shine on the world.

Listen to Mandisa’s song “Bleed The Same” (or Google the video!) and Zach Williams’ “Fear Is A Liar.”

Who Do You Count On?

“I am counting on the LORD; yes, I am counting on Him. I have put my hope in His Word.” – Psalms 130:5 NLT

God did not make us to be without Him; nor did He make us to be alone on earth. Read through these carefully:

“Then the LORD GOD GOD said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” So the LORD GOD formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him. So the LORD GOD caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the LORD GOD took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the LORD GOD made a woman from the rib, and He brought her to the man. “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” – Genesis 2:18‭-‬24 NLT

The LORD made us to be His companions, but He also saw that we need the company and community of others like us. Yes, count on the LORD above all things, because even the best intentions of man will fail at some point, causing us pain and disappointment. Only GOD will never let us down. The significant others in my life, whether friend, family, husband or boyfriend, have all caused me pain over the years. Abuse, both verbal and physical, abandonment, betrayal. The list goes on, but the point is that anyone we know, everyone we know, will prove to be unable to sustain us. We need the LORD above all else, and if we make Him the focal point of our lives, the pain of humanity is easier to bear. To make any relationship successful, the LORD must be first.

Sometimes, we are blessed with a lifetime, life-long companion. There are times that I envy those who have that. Some of us have lost through untimely death (although I could argue that there is nothing untimely with God). Addictions, infidelity, abuse, abandonment, can end relationships – and we should leave those situations where our lives are threatened. My point is this: GOD, the LORD, created us to crave companionship. Our error is that we too often choose another person to fill that need, and that can never be enough. It can be, and should be, good…. but we need the company of our LORD to be complete. Our human relationships will always involve some degree of disappointment; our relationship with JESUS CHRIST, our Salvation, is the only one that we can count on completely and without reservation.

“And so, LORD, where do I put my hope? My only Hope is in YOU.” – Psalms 39:7 NLT

“Let all that I am wait quietly before GOD, for my Hope is in Him.” – Psalms 62:5 NLT

LORD, be with us today as we learn to put our hope in You and not in man; in You where there is no disappointment or betrayal. Amen.

Ask not…

Probably one of the most recognized phrases of the Baby Boomer generation was said by our former President, John F. Kennedy: “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.” I respect this, because we owe our comfortable, free lives to this country that we live in. In many countries, you don’t have the freedoms to choose that we do, and we owe it to our country and citizenry to do what we can to support it. If we owe allegiance and respect for our nation, and we are working to that end, what about God? Don’t we owe Him allegiance for our souls, our free will, and especially for the Salvation He offers?

To paraphrase Kennedy, “Ask not what God can do for you, ask what you can do for Him!”

“And you must love the LORD your GOD with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.” – Deuteronomy 6:5 NLT

“For the Angel of the LORD is a guard; He surrounds and defends all who fear Him. Taste and see that the LORD is Good. Oh, the joys of those who take Refuge in Him! Fear the LORD, you His godly people, for those who fear Him will have all they need. Even strong young lions sometimes go hungry, but those who Trust in the LORD will lack no good thing.” – Psalms 34:7‭-‬10 NLT

“For the WORD of GOD is Alive and Powerful. It is Sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.” – Hebrews 4:12 NLT

What are you asking today?

Know God?

“Yes, they knew GOD, but they wouldn’t worship Him as GOD or even give Him thanks. And they began to think up foolish ideas of what GOD was like. As a result, their minds became dark and confused. Claiming to be wise, they instead became utter fools.” – Romans 1:21‭-‬22 NLT

What does your god look like? Is He Majestic and Holy, clothed in His Creation? Is your god clothed in Sooner cream and red, Dallas blue and silver, OSU orange? Perhaps your god is dressed in the latest fashions, or corporate goals. Maybe your god is wrapped up in busyness or children or a spouse. Loyalty, addiction, obsession to something in this world can so easily supplant THE God, Creator and Saviour. Too many times, in our quest to fill that God-shaped hole inside us, we get caught up in the external and the glittery temptations that God’s enemy, Satan, places in front of us. It’s so easy to get sidetracked into his lair, and it can be incredibly difficult to extract ourselves from the webs of deceit he weaves to trap us.

Reflecting on my past, I see clearly many instances where I was hung up in those webs. I was so busy having fun, I could ignore how miserable I was. That’s on way the enemy keeps us trapped. Busy, busy, busy. Career, kids, school, football and other sports, cars, shopping….. rather than dwelling on “What’s in your wallet?”, can we switch focus to “What’s in your heart?” Do you know the Almighty GOD? Is HE in your heart, filling it with love and compassion for His people, or are you cramming tnat hole full of earthly pursuits? It’s lke the sign says,

“Know God, Know Peace. NO God, NO Peace.”

Which part are you? Do you KNOW Peace, or do you have NO Peace in your heart? Be like the author of this psalm: Praise Him, be Thankful for Him, and Pray for God’s help and protection.

“I praise GOD for what he has promised. I trust in GOD, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me?” – Psalms 56:4 NLT