Tag: #pain

I Hate Cancer

According to the CDC, cancer is the second highest cause of death in the United States (heart disease is number one). We can all probably name family members or someone close to us who has been diagnosed with it. Just in my immediate family, 4 of 6 siblings either have it now or have been treated for it. I don’t know how anyone can survive such a diagnosis without GOD, and the support of friends and family. Even so, it is a devastating thing to deal with. Lean on the LORD. Seek Him in His Word. Talk to Him, even if that means yelling and screaming! I promise you, He can handle whatever you throw at Him. I’m lousy at comforting someone who is hurting, and I search for the ‘right’ thing to pray for. Words fail me. One thing I can always do, even in depths of despair, is say ‘JESUS.’ The Holy Spirit carries our groans to GOD when we cannot speak. Paul wrote: “And the HOLY SPIRIT helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what GOD wants us to pray for. But the HOLY SPIRIT prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.” – Romans 8:26 NLT

I don’t know how to pray for my sisters. Of course I want them cured of this horrible disease, to be well and whole, with no pain or stress. As difficult as it is to let go, I find myself back at these verses:

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His Will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.” – Proverbs 3:5‭-‬6 NLT

“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident Hope of Salvation. And this Hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly GOD Loves us, because He has given us the HOLY SPIRIT to fill our hearts with His Love.” – Romans 5:3‭-‬5 NLT

Listen to ‘Miracle’ by Unspoken.

Fearful? Stressed Out? Traumatized?

“Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the Lord : He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him. For he will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease. He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection. Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor the arrow that flies in the day. Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness, nor the disaster that strikes at midday. Though a thousand fall at your side, though ten thousand are dying around you, these evils will not touch you. Just open your eyes, and see how the wicked are punished. If you make the Lord your refuge, if you make the Most High your shelter, no evil will conquer you; no plague will come near your home. For he will order his angels to protect you wherever you go. They will hold you up with their hands so you won’t even hurt your foot on a stone. You will trample upon lions and cobras; you will crush fierce lions and serpents under your feet! The Lord says, “I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name. When they call on me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue and honor them. I will reward them with a long life and give them my salvation.” – Psalms 91:1‭-‬16 NLT

Reserve, Retreat, Regret

I’ve done that most of my life – reserving myself, staying behind the wall I constructed around my heart to keep from getting hurt. Oh, by the way, it doesn’t work. When I retreat behind my wall, all it does is keep me stuck, resentful, and angry. While I simmer in my reserve, regret for what I imagine coulda-shoulda-woulda happen overwhelms me. I am the prisoner, not whoever or whatever I happen to be upset about. I still get caught up in the cycle, too, but it’s not how I want to live my life. Billy Graham wrote a story about Bill Borden. Mr. Borden was a very wealthy man who went to China as a missionary for Christ, in spite of the opposition of friends & family. After just a few years he died of an oriental disease. While he was dying, he wrote this: “No reserve, no retreat, no regret.”

“Then He [JESUS] called the crowd to Him along with His disciples and said: ‘Whoever wants to be My disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow Me.’ ” – Mark 8:34 NIV

How many of us as Christians can say the same? “Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.” – Galatians 5:25‭-‬26 NIV

Easier said, than done! Can we live without reserve, retreat, regret? I don’t believe it’s humanly possible to do on our own. Listen to what JESUS says about living without reserve, retreat, or regret.

“They will put you out of the synagogue; in fact, the time is coming when anyone who kills you will think they are offering a service to GOD. I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have Peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” – John 16:2‭, ‬33 NIV

Without JESUS, and without the SPIRIT, we are hopeless and helpless againt the world. With JESUS, and the SPIRIT, we can conquer. For as long as we are on this earth, our lives as Christians will never be comfortable or pain free. If they are, then I would say that we are not living the Way. As long as we have JESUS in our hearts and the Holy Spirit over us, we will at least know where we are going. I am no perfect. In fact, I am completely flawed and broken. With Christ in my life, I can’t afford to be invisible. Can we be more like Bill Borden? “No reserve, no retreat, no regret.” Amen.

Fear Is A Liar

Going through life with fear is not a way to live. Fear takes away hope and joy, and living in fear prevents contentment. Being fearful can ruin us; it can keep us from any fulfillment, and from enjoying what we have. When we spend our time being afraid, it affects our entire lives. We worry, because fear fosters worry. It can lead to ulcers and other gastrointestinal problems. We can be plagued with headaches, insomnia, and depression. Phobias are born out of fear. Heights, the dark, water, driving, closed-in places, meeting new people…. even going outside. Some are organic, but I believe these fears can almost always be traced back to some event in our lives.

“But all who listen to Me will live in peace, untroubled by fear of harm.” – Proverbs 1:33 NLT

Are you ready to break the cycle of fear? There is an answer!

“Each time He said, “My GRACE is all you need. My Power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the Power of CHRIST can work through me.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9 NLT

The LORD doesn’t promise nothing bad will ever happen to us after we accept His Son, JESUS the CHRIST, as our Saviour. He does promise us Peace. It’s difficult to explain to someone who hasn’t experienced the Peace that GOD offers, but once you have, it’s amazing. In my life, I have a number of struggles facing me, financially and physically, even emotionally. I desire the finances to live comfortably, and not to wonder how the mortage and utilities will be paid each month. I would like for my shoulder not to be so messed up, or my my head not to hurt, and to be able to breathe normally. I wish for a companion who loves the LORD more than he loves me, someone who would be a partner. There have been many hours spent worrying and crying over these worries and fears. Hours that have become days and rolled into years. Now, rather than wallowing in that fear and worry, I strive instead to give it all to my Saviour and to let His Peace wash over me. It is possible to have peace in the midst of the junk! To paraphrase a popular saying – Know fear, no Peace; Know JESUS, no fear! All true and abiding Peace comes from the LORD. Accept Him and banish the liar from your life.

Listen to “Fear Is A Liar” by Zach Williams.

Living In The Past

Guilty.

(E/A, I hope you are reading this!)

“Jesus did not promise to change the circumstances around us. He promised great peace and pure joy to those who would learn to believe that God actually controls all things.” – Corrie Ten Boom

This is an immensely powerful statement, coming from a woman whose entire family died in a Nazi concentration camp, and who almost died there herself. Could I find the Joy she speaks of if I were put in her circumstance? Could you? We can’t achieve either true Peace or Joy on our own, without JESUS – Giver of the Peace that passes understanding….

“Then you will experience God’s Peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His Peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:7 NLT

When we spend our time looking back, holding on to the sorrows of our past, we can’t obtain the Joy or Peace Jesus is offering us, because our eyes are clouded over by the regrets. There is a time to mourn for what was and what could have been. People are gone in the space of a heartbeat, and whether they are an unborn baby or the most elderly person, or anyone in between, it hurts when they are gone. I find that many of us romanticize the loss. With babies, it’s especially hard, I think, because of the lost potential, and the lost love. Now, with tbe LORD at my side, I can finally rejoice over the losses of babies in my family and my friends, along with the countless billions who have been murdered through violence, abortion, and disease. How, you ask? Two reasons:

1. Those babies don’t have to grow up in the flawed, sinful world (HALLELUJAH!), and

2. I will see them and hold them in heaven – we get to spend eternity with them! How cool is that?

All of the regrets and what ifs and could haves and should haves will never change the past. It is past, over with, passed through, gone. DONE. Remembering can be good when done in a positive manner. When we lose a spouse or other loved one as an adult, it’s easy to only remember the good, even though we know the flaws. There is absolutely nothing wrong with remembering. The “wrong,” if you will, is in dwelling in the past and wallowing in self pity for all that was lost. I can play “coulda shoulda” with the best, but to what end? Satan loves it when we start the game! Next to suicide, that wallowing is most damaging to our families and our friends. It’s SELFISH to the extreme, shutting everyone out and dragging them down at the same time. I have done it myself, and I have experienced it in people I care about.

God doesn’t want us mired in the gunk of the past. God LOVES us! He wants to give us JOY, and He wants us to have PEACE. He is the Rock we can cling to when the storms of life threaten to sweep us up and drown us. His Arms are the ones that hold us when we hurt, and He is the One Who carries us when we can’t go on. It isn’t easy to let go of the past; the shoulda coulda’s. With prayer – i.e. just TALK to God – and immersion in His Word, with counseling by a pastor or other Christian professional, and a doctor to help us with medicines if needed, we can emerge from the muck and gunk Satan has buried us in. All you need to do is lean into the LORD. Talk to Him first, before spewing your guts to someone (again, I’m guilty of all this, too!) If you don’t know what prayer, just say JESUS. Cry out to Him. He knows.

Listen to “Live Like You’re Loved” by Hawk Nelson, and read “Finding Joy in the Heartache” devotion by K-Love radio Pastor David (10 March 2018.)

Doing Right

“He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and He prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more.” – John 15:2 NLT

I love to garden. I picked it from my Grandma, and I can hardly pick up my garden tools without thinking of her. Some of my best memories of childhood involve her, with her vegetable garden, her flowers, and her grapevines. She made the absolute best grape jelly, too – move over Welchs and Smuckers! At the time, I didn’t really grasp the concept of pruning and digging and work that attended to all of this until a few years ago when our county extension agent showed me the necessity of pruning branches and vines to get a better crop. We had purchased a place with an old garden spot that included three apple trees. That first year I was too busy with other things to really look at the trees until the apples got ripe. There were bushels of fruit…. but they were all really small. (I made a lot of applesauce and apple butter!) I wanted to know how to get bigger apples because they were heirloom and delicious. The agent came out and looked and said, take out a third – a THIRD – of the branches this winter, and next year do the same.

That’s a LOT of pruning the branches!

Because of all the work, we were rewarded each fall with bigger and better fruit. JESUS does the same thing with us. When we neglect our LORD in favor of our own wants, He has to come in and prune back the branches we have sprouted. Things like self-absorption, refusing to follow His Will; ‘doing our own thing,’ putting anything above our relationship with Him, prevents us from growing properly. The fruit of our lives can become tiny and lose its sweetness, and it can become wormy, without His touch. It can hurt when the LORD has to come in and discipline our branches. I know!! The benefit of submitting to His pruning, cutting out the diseased parts and removing superfluous branches, is having a happier, more peaceful life. It allows for the fruits of the Spirit to shine forth. My life been like those old apple trees, unpruned and neglected because of my choices. GOD has done some serious pruning, and I have no doubt that there will be more! It may sound strange to some, but I am grateful that He loves me enough to want to prune my branches. It’s really very simple, and it boils down to this:

“Do what is right and good in the LORD’s sight, so all will go well with you. Then you will enter and occupy the good land that the LORD swore to give your ancestors. For we will be counted as righteous when we obey all the Commands the LORD our GOD has given us.’ ” – Deuteronomy 6:18‭, ‬25 NLT

“If you love Me, obey My Commandments.” – John 14:15 NLT

What are His Commandments? Again, JESUS cuts right to the chase with His response.

Jesus replied, “‘You must love the LORD your GOD with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the First and Greatest Commandment. A Second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” – Matthew 22:37‭-‬40 NLT

Listen to Hillary Scott and the Scott Family sing Thy Will, from the album Love Remains.

Crisis!

It’s interesting to hear how that word is used by different people. For one person, having a crisis might mean not having enough cash to get their morning coffee. To another, it could mean losing everything they have in a disaster. To a child, a crisis is, well, anything that doesn’t go their way. Is your current crisis a danger or is it an opportunity? By definition, a crisis is a turning point, an emotionally significant event, or a decisive moment. We all have crises in our lives, and depending upon our emotional and physical states, they can vary in intensity. Jesus tells us:

“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” – Matthew 6:34 NLT

Believing that GOD has our every need covered (note: need, not want) is hard, sometimes. When your child is throwing a fit, or when you are facing personal loss, or it might be that you are obsessing over how you are going to survive with no job or income, it’s not easy to let it go and let GOD handle it. (Guilty!) The one thing I know for sure, the Peace I have in my heart, all stems from the crisis I had when I realized that without JESUS, my LORD and SAVIOUR, I would die and go to hell. Our lives get jambed up all the time. The thing that seems trivial to someone else may constitute a major crisis to me. For me, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to see daily life as a crisis …. and that’s a good thing! (Don’t be fooled. I still have meltdowns!) Everything on this earth; every person on this earth, will experience crises in their lives. I’m quite sure I will experience and witness crisis-induced meltdowns throughout the rest of my natural life. It’s normal; it’s human.

When you are faced with the insurmountable and the odds are against you, switch your focus from the mountain and look to JESUS. Whenever I can’t waĺk, He picks me up and carries me. He wants to help you in the same way. Whatever crisis you are dealing with today, remember that this, too, shall pass. Eternity is forever. Human life is fleeting.

“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” – Matthew 6:33‭-‬34 NLT

I Am A Fraud

I am a fraud.

That is tough to admit to. My spirit feels broken, weighted down by the mess of this earthly life. Most days I can push through at some point and get something done…. Oh, who am I kidding? Most days, I struggle to get the most mundane tasks done; feeding the dogs and caring for the cats; getting outside to let my girls out (my hens, Daisy and Lily ☺ ), feeding myself. Some days, I have headaches that make it difficult to focus and I really don’t want to deal with anyone. A friend once told me she had never been depressed a day in her life, and I just needed to get over it. Sure. It should be so easy! I know the Scriptures encourage joy:

“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.” – Proverbs 17:22 NLT

(I’m tired.)

“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.” – James 1:2 NLT

(Joy, schmoy. Don’t all of these happy people realize that not everyone is on the same plane as they are? Bleh.)

As a Christian, a follower of Jesus Christ, I know all the platitudes for depressed people…. I’ve spoken those platitudes to others, many times. Today, though, the Psalms speak directly to me, speaking truth that only my LORD knows:

“Let my soul be at rest again, for the LORD has been good to me. He has saved me from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling. And so I walk in the LORD’s presence as I live here on earth! I believed in you, so I said, “I am deeply troubled, LORD.” – Psalms 116:7‭-‬10 NLT

It’s odd to be depressed and at peace simultaneously. An oxymoron. Is it even possible? Absolutely. I take joy today from a bit of history that means nothing to millions, but for other millions, and to me, it means EVERYTHING. Our LORD allowed us to hang Him on a cross; to spill His blood. To kill Him – to MURDER Him, the single most innocent and only sinless person to ever live. The cross was meant to kill Jesus, instead, it has become our Victory! The cross is empty, and His tomb is empty, because our JESUS conquered has death, and He will come back to defeat Satan, once and for all. How can I be sure? Simple. I read the back of the Book, and it is GLORIOUS! Satan uses depression to hold us down while we are on earth, and I may never completely escape it – but in the end, we will overcome the old snake and be victorious with our GOD. In the meantime, dealing with life here on earth, we do the best we can with the knowlege and experience we have. Leaning on JESUS is the only way I can make it! (And that’s another great hymn!)

Listen to “My Victory” by the David Crowder Band, and read these words to “Victory In Jesus” – I adore this hymn and it’s TRUTH.

I heard an old, old story,
How a Savior came from glory,
How He gave His life on Calvary
To save a wretch like me;
I heard about His groaning,
Of His precious blood’s atoning,
Then I repented of my sins
And won the victory.

Chorus
O victory in Jesus,
My Savior, forever.
He sought me and bought me
With His redeeming blood;
He loved me ere I knew Him
And all my love is due Him,
He plunged me to victory,
Beneath the cleansing flood.

Everything …. Or Nothing

“We do not wish either to be, or to live among, people who are clean or honest or kind as a matter of duty: we want to be, and associate with, people who like being clean and honest and kind.” – #CSLewis (Emphasis mine)

Whatever I do, and whatever I say, even whatever I think, I want to do because it is my choice, my decision – not because someone tells me. I am very aware of how utterly blessed I am to be born in the U.S.A.; to live in a Republic and not in a Socialist country or in a Dictatorship. Here, I can say whatever pleases me; good, bad, ugly, or indifferent. I can disparage the government without fear of reprisal; I can attend the church of my choice. America is still a land of opportunity for those who are willing to work. (Apparently, there are an awful lot of people who have made living off others and the government their “opportunity.” – but that’s another story!)

I can have the expectation that success and comfort and riches will be handed to me through no effort on my part, but for the vast majority of us, that will never happen. Those things only come through hard work and dedication. I know people who live a certain way as a matter of duty, but that is not me. I hope people who know me see that I am clean-living and honest and kind because it is my choice, my life; because it is how I want to be – not because of any rules or regulations or orders. It is not a duty that compels; it is not the ‘rules’ that require me to be this way. My devotion and my love for my JESUS, my LORD, makes me want to live that way. As the apostle Paul wrote:

“I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little.” – Philippians 4:12 NLT

This is not an easy task, but it is not difficult, either. It is not easy, because we have to commit our lives to the Living GOD, and it is never easy as a human to let go of control. It’s not difficult, because through our surrender, we become free. Like the butterfly that struggles to get out of it’s cocoon, or the bird struggling to break of it’s shell, once we shed the confinement of our earthly wants and desires, we are free to fly! To soar with JESUS, above and beyond anything earthly. When we are with Him, it is easy to be content in our hearts, no matter the circumstance. We still need to be present in the world so that we can let JESUS shine His Light through the flaws and cracks in our earthly shell. We need to be present, both to give and to receive blessings.

Where do you stand today? Clean, honest, and kind because you choose, or because it is your duty?