Tag: #pain

He Ain’t Heavy…..

If you were in the pop culture of 1969, you’ll remember a song that hit the charts in September by the British group the Hollies, and again in 1970 by Neil Diamond, “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother.” Part of it goes like this:

So on we go
His welfare is of my concern
No burden is he to bear
We’ll get there

For I know
He would not encumber me
He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother

This is just what Christ taught His followers, and they in turn taught others. It’s a message that is easy to ignore as we go about our lives, wrapped up in the drama of everyday living.

“Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important.” – Galatians 6:2‭-‬3 NLT

I don’t mind helping those who need help when I can, even though I find it really difficult accepting help for myself. The needs aren’t always financial. Many times, the best way we can help is through prayer for that person. It doesn’t seem like much, and I’ve said, along with countless others, that “All we can do is pray.” ALL we can do? It is absolutely the BEST thing we can do! God knows everything, including our deepest hurts and desires. Nothing is hidden from Him…. so why do we need to pray?

“Who is the Almighty, and why should we obey him? What good will it do us to pray?” – Job 21:15 NLT
Jesus said: “I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours. But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.” – Mark 11:24‭-‬25 NLT

We need to have conversations with God. The person on this earth who knows us best still wants to have conversations, so why do we think God our Creator wouldn’t want to hear from us? Sometimes we just don’t make (or have!) any sense……

You’re A Fool… Or No, It’s Me.

Will the prayer I am praying change anyone else’s life besides mine? Be careful with your words!! Am I praying for revenge on someone for hurting me, or am I thanking God for my blessings? Do I ask the LORD to bless those who have caused problems for me, or am I cursing them while asking God to bless me?

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise adorns knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly. The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.” – Proverbs 15:1-2,4

Will Rogers said it pretty well, I thought: “It is better for some one to think you’re a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.” My Mom always said “If you can’t say something good about someone, don’t say anything.” Lately, I find myself struggling to keep my mouth shut, and harsh words regarding the most recent hurt slip out instead. Thank God I am a work in progress!

I especially like this sentence: “The soothing tongue is a tree of life…” Think about that! A tree of life. We can do more damage with our tongue than with a knife, because wounds of the spirit are difficult to heal – I know, because I lashed out for years, hurting others because of the pain I felt. I will forever have to guard my tongue in this life. There is only ONE Healer for your wounded, broken spirit, and that is Jesus Christ, the Great Physician. Through Him, and Him alone, are my wounds healed. He can bring healing to you as well, and through your healing, you can reach out to to those you have hurt. In the 12 Step programs, it’s called making amends.

  • Step Eight: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
  • Step Nine: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

In our lives, we will have to work these steps over and over. I have opportunities to ask for forgiveness. Most are graciously accepted, but there will always be those that are not accepted. I also have opportunities to forgive – and when I forgive, or struggle with forgiveness, I gain understanding of the consequences of hurt I inflict on others. In some instances, we will need much more than an apology. We need to make a physical or monetary amends in some cases. Sometimes it is impossible to forgive, and that is when I give it to the Great Physician so that He can work His healing power. Revenge for things people say and do is for GOD to deal out, not for us to do.

So be careful of your words. Even in jest, we can (and do!) hurt others.

Fully Committed; Fully Transparent

What does that mean, “fully committed”?

“The eyes of the Lord search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. What a fool you have been! From now on you will be at war.” –
2 Chronicles 16:9 NLT

Interesting verse. How many years did I struggle through, simply because I was not fully committed to God? Reading this certainly explains the trouble and hurt of those years! At war – fighting to maintain my control. MY control; MY choices. Not asking God for answers or guidance, thinking I had it all figured out. At war – but not allowing the army of angels, GOD’s army, to fight my battles. Like a 2 year old, I said “I can do it!” How’s that working out for you? Even now, it often feels as though I’m at war with the world. There is so much much ugliness and meaness, much of the time I just want to retreat into my home and not venture out.

Paul reminds us how we should be thinking and acting in his letter to the Ephesians:

“And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” {Psalms 4:4 NLT: “Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Think about it overnight and remain silent.”} Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil. ….. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” – Ephesians 4:26-27, 31-32 NLT

I confess I am struggling with anger right now. It is a real struggle not to be furious at my life partner (or so I let him convince me we were) for suddenly leaving. Anger at him for lying to me that he would not leave, anger at the financial bind I am in because of losing his support, and a lot of anger at myself for 《again!!》 letting myself become dependent upon a human man and pushing my relationship with my LORD aside. Bitterness wells up in my heart anytime I dwell on the situation, and harsh words and slander are ready to slip off my tongue with very little encouragement.

Instead of allowing this anger to control consume me, as the enemy wants it to do, my focus has to remain on scriptures and my Jesus. How will the mortgage get paid the first of next month? At this point, with my efforts, and my financial resources, it won’t be covered. The human in me is worried and almost sick about it. The Sprit residing in me tells me worry won’t fix it, and any anger at him I hold on won’t help any, either. Only by letting God have this, by fully committing to Him, holding nothing back and surrendering completely, will I survive this. Do you understand how hard that is? I can’t do it. Pulling myself up by my bootstraps won’t cut it.

“I trust in you, my God! Do not let me be disgraced, or let my enemies rejoice in my defeat.” – Psalms 25:2 NLT
“I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!” – Mark 9:24 NLT

Proverbs

PRO-VERB
ˈprävərb/
noun
plural noun: proverbs
a short pithy saying in general use, stating a general truth or piece of advice.
synonyms: saying, adage, saw, maxim, axiom, precept; words of wisdom

“The proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel:
for gaining wisdom and instruction; for understanding words of insight;
for receiving instruction in prudent behavior, doing what is right and just and fair;
for giving prudence to those who are simple, knowledge and discretion to the young –
let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance –
for understanding proverbs and parables, the sayings and riddles of the wise.
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” Proverbs 1:1-7

Good advice, from the man called the wisest man (and also the richest!) ever to live on earth…. I began reading these, again, a few years ago while I was involved in a Christ-centered recovery program. There was a lot of emphasis for my healing on Proverbs 16:9. It kept reminding me that I am not in control of my life; that in spite of my pride and controlling attitude, my idea that “I’ll do it myself,” God was – and IS – the One in control. That’s a hard thing to acknowledge for a person who has suffered emotionally and physically at the hands of others. I had to drop the pretense that I was perfect and recognize that I wasn’t always right. This is a battle still being fought today and every day, as the enemy seeks to pull me away from my LORD, Jesus Christ.

“We can make our own plans, but the LORD gives the right answer. People may be pure in their own eyes, but the LORD examines their motives. Commit your actions to the LORD, and your plans will succeed. …. Better to have little, with godliness, than to be rich and dishonest. We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.” – Proverbs 16:1‭-‬3‭, ‬8‭-‬9 NLT

We are all in the battle against the enemy Satan. He wants us to believe that we have it all together, that we know better than the GOD of the Universe. Sounds a little silly, especially when we consider that this amazing, all-powerful God knew us before any man even imagined our existence. He knew me in my Mother’s womb, as I was being knit together in the fabulous way He designed. ( Read all of Psalm 139, and Job 10:11). I struggle with verse 8 of Proverbs 16. America is a land of riches, and I see the people around me adding to their “stuff” on a daily basis. If you disagree, take a look outside on trash day at the full-to-bursting trash receptacles and the overflowing recycle bins. Stuff. As I grow older, I find myself yearning for a simpler life…. but I have so much “stuff” I can’t seem to let go of, so how does life get simpler? Ridiculous. Pray for me as I continue to seek the way God wants me to go, as I pray for you.

Faith

“The thought of my suffering and homelessness is bitter beyond words….. Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The Faithful Love of the LORD never ends! His Mercies never cease. Great is His Faithfulness; His Mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, “The LORD is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in Him! The LORD is good to those who depend on Him, to those who search for Him. So it is good to wait quietly for Salvation from the LORD.” – Lamentations 3:19‭, ‬21‭-‬26 NLT

“But let all who take refuge in You rejoice; let them sing joyful praises forever. Spread Your Protection over them, that all who love Your Name may be filled with Joy.” – Psalms 5:11 NLT

I am not homeless at this moment, but I have been, in my past. Other than that, I must admit to being in a frightful place financially. It amazes me each morning as I get up to find these verses of encouragement in my emails, so appropriate to my life. God is GOOD. He sustains me in the darkness. The situation that doesn’t seem viable to me is easily doable for the Almighty GOD. I know His Words are true, and what appears to me to be a hopeless situation is, instead, an opportunity for Him to show His Mighty Love and Mercy. I am standing on His Promises that He will deliver me. His deliverance may not be of my liking or my desires, but it will come. I do believe, LORD, help my unbelief! I will put my Hope in Him.

Satisfaction

“Don’t love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, ‘I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.’ ” – Hebrews 13:5 NLT

I know this is true, so why do I feel so bereft right now? I’m reminded of a song by Casting Crowns. Here is the chorus and the last verse. It so perfectly describes how I feel right now. Not my words, but, oh, how appropriate today. Can I make it one more day? Can I trust that the LORD will sustain me in this dark hour?

“I’m not strong enough, I can’t take anymore

And my shipwrecked faith will never get me to shore
Can He find me here
Can He keep me from going under

Oh, my soul
You’re not alone
There’s a place where fear has to face the God you know
One more day, He will make a way
Let Him show you how, you can lay this down
‘Cause you’re not alone
Oh, my soul, you’re not alone”

He will never leave me, never abandon me, and I know I am not alone. Lord, I believe, help me trust completely in You.

Pain, Momentary or Permanent

There are many types and causes of pain. It can be physical, emotional, and spiritual. Medical treatments often cause momentary, or temporary pain to us physically, but when the treatment, surgery, adjustment, whatever, is done, we feel much better. Childbirth can be (and usually is) incredibly painful, but the love that floods the mother when she holds her baby for the first time makes all the pain and discomfort disappear. Many millions of people have physical conditions that cause them to be in constant pain. The emotion pain of cutting a toxic person from our lives can hurt so deeply that we can’t imagine living through it. Watching a loved one suffer, or losing a loved one through death, causes us tremendous pain. It doesn’t matter who you are, how “rich” you are, how much power you hold, or where you live, pain will be your companion at some point in your life.

“Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later.” – Romans 8:18 NLT

Whether the pain is temporary, fleeting, or something to live with our entire earthly lives, there is a permanent solution. It’s an eternal cure for the deepest, most debilitating pains known to anyone on earth, and it is utterly free, no strings attached. Why, then, do people reject this cure? Who do you know that will reject a gift that is offered with nothing asked for in return? Why are we so suspicious of the gift that will free us, but we grab for the horrible and painful gifts the enemy hands us, gifts that are firmly tied to the giver? I think it’s because the true gift is offered in plain packaging, no frills….. but the enemy wraps his with beautiful wrappings and ribbons and bows and bling.

I confess that for many years I preferred the gaudy gifts. I convinced myself that the beautiful wrappings made up for the ugliness and darkness inside. If I wrapped myself up in the packaging, I could present myself to the world as impervious the the darkness and ugliness. I could hide it from myself. Wrong. There is only so much you can do to hide. EVERYTHING comes to the light, eventually. I have a huge debt of gratitude to the people God put in my path to show me the TRUE Gift. Much of the physical and emotional pain I have dealt with throughout my life could have been avoided if I had paid attention to the real Gift of Love, instead of turning and going through the muck, trying to capture that elusive feeling of “happiness”. Is that where you are today? Treading through the muck, wandering in the pain and hopelessness?

My prayer today is that you will look up, open your eyes and your hands and your life, and really SEE where you are. Reach out to the One Who is able to pull you out of the ugliness! If you can’t stand up or put one foot in front of the other, don’t despair. The One Who is capable of pulling you up will carry you until you can walk, and even then, no matter what, He will ALWAYS be with you. He will never expect you to carry on by yourself, and in fact, even when we turn our backs on us, He will NEVER leave us alone. I know this, because I experience it daily. Even in the darkest parts of my life, He never walked away or forsook me, because I accepted His Gift at a young age…. I just chose to follow the path the world (i.e. the enemy) instead of going with my Savior. I thank the LORD that He didn’t desert me!

Life on earth will never be painless. I struggle financially, I have physical issues, and it is difficult for me to come out of my shell. These will be a part of my life until I die, or until my Jesus returns, and that’s just reality. The beauty of it all is that because I accepted His Gift, l don’t face it alone. His strong Hands are with me to support me and carry me as needed. Plus, I get to spend all of eternity with NO sorrow, NO pain, NO struggles! Don’t know about you, but I would rather live my life now as if Jesus were real (and He IS real and alive), than to face an unknown and dark eternity.

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” – Revelation 21:4 NLT