Tag: #suffering

Nobody Knows…..

“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” – James 1:2‭-‬4 NLT

There’s an old Negro Spiritual from the 1800’s that fits here:

Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen
Nobody knows but Jesus
Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen
Glory, Hallelujah

Sometimes I’m up
And sometimes I’m down
Yes, Lord, you know sometimes I’m almost to the ground
Oh, yes, Lord, still

Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen
Nobody knows but Jesus

We – all of humanity – love to judge people. You can deny it, but denial doesn’t make it untrue. I know I struggle with it, even after a lifetime of being judged by others, sometimes rightly, but more often they were wrong. To judge someone fairly, you need to know their bsckground and their situations intimately. Think you know me well enough to judge me and my actions? No, no more than I know you well enough to judge you. Our pasts, our troubles, may be known in generalities to those who are close to us, but nobody truly knows the troubles, the trials, you or I have endured. Like the psalmist says, “My eyes are straining to see Your Promises come true. When will You Comfort me? I am shriveled like a wineskin in the smoke, but I have not forgotten to obey Your Decrees. How long must I wait? When will You punish those who persecute me?” – Psalms 119:82‭-‬84 NLT

Right here, right now, my mind struggles to believe my heart and my Faith in my LORD. My mind is screaming “How will things work out? What am I to do?” My heart is saying “Trust in the LORD, for He is in control. There’s no need to worry.” I KNOW this to be true, but I often have a difficult time believing it. My puny little human brain wants to grab my circumstance and situation away from the Almighty GOD, the One Who created us and Who Loves us beyond understanding….. can I solve anything that GOD can’t? No. No. And NO.

“This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it: ‘CHRIST JESUS came into the world to save sinners’ – and I am the worst of them all.” – 1 Timothy 1:15 NLT

As long as I worry, I’m telling people through my words and actions that I don’t fully trust in JESUS. I am the worst of sinners, yet He Loved me so much He left heaven to cover my sins with His sacrificial blood, to save me (ME!), once and for all time. I am Forgiven, and not to be judged. Who am I to judge anyone else?

{https://www.letssingit.com/negro-spirituals-gospel-feat.-louis-armstrong-lyrics-nobody-knows-the-trouble-i-ve-seen-57tn2n1
LetsSingIt – The Internet Lyrics Database}

Courage

“Courage is understanding the consequences, and choosing to do the right thing anyway.“*

I almost think this is an understatement of what courage really is. Throughout history, we have millions of examples of courageous men and women. These are just a few:

Moses stood up to Pharaoh, who was arguably the most powerful man in the world at the time, at the risk of his own life… but it was the right thing to do for the Israelites in order to free them from generations of slavery. David, a young man who had spent his life as a shepherd in a kind of bondage to his father, stepped up and out of his comfort zone when even the most hardened soldiers were afraid. He fought and killed a mighty warrior, a giant of a man, in the face of daunting odds to keep his people safe. Amelia Earhart broke the bonds of traditional womanhood and was the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean. This act of courage paved the way for other women to follow their hearts instead of staying at home in the role of housewife. The men – and women – who crossed oceans and mountains and deserts to find a better life for their children; people who stand up to dictators and despots to create better societies. Men and women in battle are courageous warriors. The woman who takes her children and nothing else, to flee from an abusive situation…. this seemingly simple act is one of the most difficult acts of courage that I know of. People who haven’t experienced that kind of bondage don’t understand and might consider the woman as stupid and cowardly. No, any woman breaking free from that kind of slavery deserves accolades.

God knows that I am not very courageous. I talked big and swaggered about for years, but I wasn’t courageous enough to walk away from dangerous situations. The true courage of a woman comes forward if her children are threatened. That’s when the submissive posture ends and the mama grizzly bear comes out. Trust me, it can get ugly fast if any of my family is threatened. This courage I might find is nothing compared to the ultimate act of courage, shown by our LORD JESUS CHRIST.

“Though He was GOD, He did not think of equality with GOD as something to cling to. Instead, He gave up His divine privileges ; He took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When He appeared in human form, He humbled Himself in obedience to GOD and died a criminal’s death on a cross. Therefore, GOD elevated Him to the place of Highest Honor and gave Him the Name above all other names, that at the Name of JESUS every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue declare that JESUS CHRIST is LORD, to the Glory of GOD the Father.” – Philippians 2:6‭-‬11 NLT

I will never be able to match His courage, so I let Him carry me through the ugliness of life on earth, and I cling to His Word…

“Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong.” – 1 Corinthians 16:13 NLT

Listen to Stand Firm In The Faith by Ablaze Music. *Quote is from Right From The Heart 1-Minute Devotions.

I Hate Cancer

According to the CDC, cancer is the second highest cause of death in the United States (heart disease is number one). We can all probably name family members or someone close to us who has been diagnosed with it. Just in my immediate family, 4 of 6 siblings either have it now or have been treated for it. I don’t know how anyone can survive such a diagnosis without GOD, and the support of friends and family. Even so, it is a devastating thing to deal with. Lean on the LORD. Seek Him in His Word. Talk to Him, even if that means yelling and screaming! I promise you, He can handle whatever you throw at Him. I’m lousy at comforting someone who is hurting, and I search for the ‘right’ thing to pray for. Words fail me. One thing I can always do, even in depths of despair, is say ‘JESUS.’ The Holy Spirit carries our groans to GOD when we cannot speak. Paul wrote: “And the HOLY SPIRIT helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what GOD wants us to pray for. But the HOLY SPIRIT prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.” – Romans 8:26 NLT

I don’t know how to pray for my sisters. Of course I want them cured of this horrible disease, to be well and whole, with no pain or stress. As difficult as it is to let go, I find myself back at these verses:

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His Will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.” – Proverbs 3:5‭-‬6 NLT

“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident Hope of Salvation. And this Hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly GOD Loves us, because He has given us the HOLY SPIRIT to fill our hearts with His Love.” – Romans 5:3‭-‬5 NLT

Listen to ‘Miracle’ by Unspoken.

Forgiven

Listen to Crowder sing ‘Forgiven’ – Powerful!

“But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.” – Isaiah 40:31 NLT

I am not perfect. I am flawed, broken, and sinful…. and I am forgiven. Forgiven for every bad thing, every sinful thought, every flawed decision I’ve made. Being human, I have followed in the footsteps of the first couple, thinking I could run my life better than the Creator GOD. I almost had it right, but I left something out. You see, when you say ‘I can run my life just fine,’ you are putting an ‘i’ in the word, making ‘run’ become ‘ruin.’ But – how can GOD find the time to deal with my issues when there are millions upon mlllions of other people who have real problems that need help? Besides all of us, there is the entire universe for Him to deal with! What can I say? The Omnipotent, omnipresent LORD, King of all kings, cares about us. He cares about me. Listen to what JESUS said:

“Don’t be afraid of those who want to kill your body; they cannot touch your soul. Fear only GOD, who can destroy both soul and body in hell. What is the price of two sparrows—one copper coin? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.” – Matthew 10:28‭-‬29‭, ‬31 NLT – In Luke 12, JESUS also says “…. the very hairs on your head are all numbered ….”

Even though I am forgiven; despite my brokenness, JESUS wants me to follow the Father’s Commandments. Does He want me to give up everything to follow Him; to be rigid in my following of the Ten Commandments given to Moses? After all, GOD gave the to us. I love how my Saviour simplified the Ten and all of the laws into Two Commandments.

“Loving GOD means keeping His Commandments, and His Commandments are not burdensome.” – 1 John 5:3 NLT

Jesus replied, “‘You must love the LORD your GOD with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the First and Greatest Commandment. A Second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” – Matthew 22:37‭-‬40 NLT

Are you forgiven? Do you LOVE the LORD? Accept Him and Proclaim Him – Find your Freedom in CHRIST JESUS today! ☝️

Fearful? Stressed Out? Traumatized?

“Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the Lord : He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him. For he will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease. He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection. Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor the arrow that flies in the day. Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness, nor the disaster that strikes at midday. Though a thousand fall at your side, though ten thousand are dying around you, these evils will not touch you. Just open your eyes, and see how the wicked are punished. If you make the Lord your refuge, if you make the Most High your shelter, no evil will conquer you; no plague will come near your home. For he will order his angels to protect you wherever you go. They will hold you up with their hands so you won’t even hurt your foot on a stone. You will trample upon lions and cobras; you will crush fierce lions and serpents under your feet! The Lord says, “I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name. When they call on me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue and honor them. I will reward them with a long life and give them my salvation.” – Psalms 91:1‭-‬16 NLT

Living In The Past

Guilty.

(E/A, I hope you are reading this!)

“Jesus did not promise to change the circumstances around us. He promised great peace and pure joy to those who would learn to believe that God actually controls all things.” – Corrie Ten Boom

This is an immensely powerful statement, coming from a woman whose entire family died in a Nazi concentration camp, and who almost died there herself. Could I find the Joy she speaks of if I were put in her circumstance? Could you? We can’t achieve either true Peace or Joy on our own, without JESUS – Giver of the Peace that passes understanding….

“Then you will experience God’s Peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His Peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:7 NLT

When we spend our time looking back, holding on to the sorrows of our past, we can’t obtain the Joy or Peace Jesus is offering us, because our eyes are clouded over by the regrets. There is a time to mourn for what was and what could have been. People are gone in the space of a heartbeat, and whether they are an unborn baby or the most elderly person, or anyone in between, it hurts when they are gone. I find that many of us romanticize the loss. With babies, it’s especially hard, I think, because of the lost potential, and the lost love. Now, with tbe LORD at my side, I can finally rejoice over the losses of babies in my family and my friends, along with the countless billions who have been murdered through violence, abortion, and disease. How, you ask? Two reasons:

1. Those babies don’t have to grow up in the flawed, sinful world (HALLELUJAH!), and

2. I will see them and hold them in heaven – we get to spend eternity with them! How cool is that?

All of the regrets and what ifs and could haves and should haves will never change the past. It is past, over with, passed through, gone. DONE. Remembering can be good when done in a positive manner. When we lose a spouse or other loved one as an adult, it’s easy to only remember the good, even though we know the flaws. There is absolutely nothing wrong with remembering. The “wrong,” if you will, is in dwelling in the past and wallowing in self pity for all that was lost. I can play “coulda shoulda” with the best, but to what end? Satan loves it when we start the game! Next to suicide, that wallowing is most damaging to our families and our friends. It’s SELFISH to the extreme, shutting everyone out and dragging them down at the same time. I have done it myself, and I have experienced it in people I care about.

God doesn’t want us mired in the gunk of the past. God LOVES us! He wants to give us JOY, and He wants us to have PEACE. He is the Rock we can cling to when the storms of life threaten to sweep us up and drown us. His Arms are the ones that hold us when we hurt, and He is the One Who carries us when we can’t go on. It isn’t easy to let go of the past; the shoulda coulda’s. With prayer – i.e. just TALK to God – and immersion in His Word, with counseling by a pastor or other Christian professional, and a doctor to help us with medicines if needed, we can emerge from the muck and gunk Satan has buried us in. All you need to do is lean into the LORD. Talk to Him first, before spewing your guts to someone (again, I’m guilty of all this, too!) If you don’t know what prayer, just say JESUS. Cry out to Him. He knows.

Listen to “Live Like You’re Loved” by Hawk Nelson, and read “Finding Joy in the Heartache” devotion by K-Love radio Pastor David (10 March 2018.)

Crippled By Fear

“And I have been a constant example of how you can help those in need by working hard. You should remember the Words of the LORD JESUS: ‘It is more Blessed to give than to receive.’ ” – Acts of the Apostles 20:35 NLT

The Apostle Paul was a prolific writer and seasoned traveler. Every place he went, he worked to provide for himself so that the people he was visiting didn’t have to support him. We know he had some kind of “thorn” to deal with himself, although it is unclear whether it is physical or some sort of emotional or mental problem. In spite of his difficulty, he did what GOD called him to do. He was uncompromising when it came to his ministry. Too often, we allow ourselves to be crippled by fear: fear of failure, fear of physical or emotional pain, fear of losing…. there are many things which can literally paralyze us and prevent us from doing what we know we should do. We compromise over and over, letting our calling, our ministries, fail.

“For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at GOD, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred….. They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up wit h pride, and love pleasure rather than God.” – 2 Timothy 3:2,4 NLT

I want to be as uncompromising as Paul was. I hold the life of JESUS up to scrutiny, and His was as uncompromising as Life and Love itself. He had a mission, a ministry, that consumed His days on earth. Even when faced with false accusations from the Jewish leaders, torture at the hands of Roman soldiers, and a horribly painful death by crucifixion, JESUS was uncompromised. Can you imagine? Given the choice of compromising your beliefs to prevent an agonizing death – could you do it? Are you uncompromising in your faith?

“….. I don’t know what awaits me, except that the HOLY SPIRIT tells me in city after city that jail and suffering lie ahead. But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the LORD JESUS – the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful Grace of GOD. And I have been a constant example of how you can help those in need by working hard. You should remember the words of the LORD JESUS: ‘It is more Blessed to give than to receive.’ ” – Acts of the Apostles 20:22‭-‬24‭, ‬35 NLT

Broken People, Broken Prayers

“For we are GOD’s Masterpiece. He has Created us anew in CHRIST JESUS, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.” – Ephesians 2:10 NLT

We are so unworthy of GOD’s Love! As we come into Spring, reminders of our GOD are popping up all over the place. Green shoots pushing up through the debris of Winter, bird songs filling the air and the skies full of geese and other migrating birds – my first daffodil of the year just opened. How can anyone not believe in a greater Being than us, especially when surrounded by the new life coming through what appeared to be all dead? Our LORD personifies the renewing of life. From the moment He stepped down from His Throne in heaven to come down to our human level and be born to live as a man, to the end of His life and ministry, Jesus was like a beautiful plant.

“Jesus grew in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and all the people.” – Luke 2:52 NLT

To everyone alive at that time, as they saw JESUS die a human death on the cross and buried as a man in a tomb, it was the end of Him. Like the flowers and grasses that die and are swept away in the winter, our LORD, Jesus Christ, was resurrected from from death. He blossomed as He spoke to His followers and to the crowds that surrounded Him. Nature shows us the Resurrection story every Spring with trees and grasses, and babies of every kind being born. It is a wonderful time of new life. We are broken people. We have hardened our hearts to the point that even when we want to open them, all we can do is offer up broken prayers. I know how difficult it can be to open up that hard kernal we call a heart; to let the nourishing Light and Love of our JESUS in to cover us and allow us to grow.

It is through JESUS that we are healed. It is through His Mercy and Grace that we are forgiven. Never assume that being a “good” person will do any good when we all stand at the Great White Throne on Judgement Day! Read Revelations of John 20:11-15. Let the Light of Jesus, and His cleansing Blood, wash over your hurting heart and broken prayers today.

Listen to Broken Prayers by Riley Clemmons. (Here’s an excerpt)

You want my tears, every messy word
Every scar and every fear
You want all I have
With no holding back
When I’m hurt, at my worst
You meet me there
‘Cause you see the beauty
In my broken prayers
In my broken prayers

I Am A Fraud

I am a fraud.

That is tough to admit to. My spirit feels broken, weighted down by the mess of this earthly life. Most days I can push through at some point and get something done…. Oh, who am I kidding? Most days, I struggle to get the most mundane tasks done; feeding the dogs and caring for the cats; getting outside to let my girls out (my hens, Daisy and Lily ☺ ), feeding myself. Some days, I have headaches that make it difficult to focus and I really don’t want to deal with anyone. A friend once told me she had never been depressed a day in her life, and I just needed to get over it. Sure. It should be so easy! I know the Scriptures encourage joy:

“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.” – Proverbs 17:22 NLT

(I’m tired.)

“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.” – James 1:2 NLT

(Joy, schmoy. Don’t all of these happy people realize that not everyone is on the same plane as they are? Bleh.)

As a Christian, a follower of Jesus Christ, I know all the platitudes for depressed people…. I’ve spoken those platitudes to others, many times. Today, though, the Psalms speak directly to me, speaking truth that only my LORD knows:

“Let my soul be at rest again, for the LORD has been good to me. He has saved me from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling. And so I walk in the LORD’s presence as I live here on earth! I believed in you, so I said, “I am deeply troubled, LORD.” – Psalms 116:7‭-‬10 NLT

It’s odd to be depressed and at peace simultaneously. An oxymoron. Is it even possible? Absolutely. I take joy today from a bit of history that means nothing to millions, but for other millions, and to me, it means EVERYTHING. Our LORD allowed us to hang Him on a cross; to spill His blood. To kill Him – to MURDER Him, the single most innocent and only sinless person to ever live. The cross was meant to kill Jesus, instead, it has become our Victory! The cross is empty, and His tomb is empty, because our JESUS conquered has death, and He will come back to defeat Satan, once and for all. How can I be sure? Simple. I read the back of the Book, and it is GLORIOUS! Satan uses depression to hold us down while we are on earth, and I may never completely escape it – but in the end, we will overcome the old snake and be victorious with our GOD. In the meantime, dealing with life here on earth, we do the best we can with the knowlege and experience we have. Leaning on JESUS is the only way I can make it! (And that’s another great hymn!)

Listen to “My Victory” by the David Crowder Band, and read these words to “Victory In Jesus” – I adore this hymn and it’s TRUTH.

I heard an old, old story,
How a Savior came from glory,
How He gave His life on Calvary
To save a wretch like me;
I heard about His groaning,
Of His precious blood’s atoning,
Then I repented of my sins
And won the victory.

Chorus
O victory in Jesus,
My Savior, forever.
He sought me and bought me
With His redeeming blood;
He loved me ere I knew Him
And all my love is due Him,
He plunged me to victory,
Beneath the cleansing flood.