But Joseph said to them, “Do not be afraid, for am I in God’s place? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive.” Genesis 50:19‭-‬20 NASB

I’m so tired of living my life in fear of how I’m going to get through it financially; of how I’m going to survive the month. I’m tired of living in fear of growing old alone. I’m tired of being rejected from job after job, because they “decided to go in a different direction.” What does that even mean???

Let me be clear: My choices brought me to this point. God did not do this to me. He didn’t cause me to make poor financial decisions, and He certainly didn’t encourage me to trust men who would lie, steal, and cheat me. He didn’t put those men in my path. No, all of the bad choices are mine, and mine alone, and once again I am faced with payback for [some of?] those bad choices. I don’t know how to pray about all this. I think I am searching for God’s will, but am I really just trying to get Him to accept my wishes?

“In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the Mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.” Romans 8:26‭-‬27 NASB

Tauren Wells has a song God’s Not Done With You, and a devotional by the same name on https://bible.com. When you are struggling with the unfairness and the paybacks of this life, lean on these truths. Paybacks happen in life, but it is very reassuring to me that my life is not dependent on them. My GOD is in control; I just have to trust Him. Not an easy thing for someone whose trust has been broken by man, over and over again ….. but it can be done. Remember, “neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38‭-‬39 NASB

NOTHING. No enemy and no “payback” that he can throw at us can take us away from GOD. God, THE God; Creator, Saviour, Lover and LORD of humanity, is not dead, He is not diminished in any way by the enemy’s devilry and mischief. The LORD is ALIVE, and He is NOT done with me – or you! – yet!