Category: Hurting

Debt and Debtors

I’m not talking about debt we owe to banks or credit credit card companies. Today, i was convicted by a this story that Jesus told to His followers.

“Then Peter came to Him and asked, “LORD, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!” “Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt. But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt. But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment. His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full. When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt. That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.” – Matthew 18:21‭-‬35 NLT

Money is a very touchy subject, and obviously has been for millennia. There are individuals who have taken advantage of me in the past, and who owe me thousands of dollars. I have been holding on to the debt and tne paperwork for years, determined to somehow collect it. As I read this parable, I was again struck by the final sentence. Even though I am completely unworthy of any forgiveness, or any Mercy or Grace from my LORD, I desire forgiveness from Him with all of my being. I know, without any doubt, that I have received the Salvation of Jesus Christ, I have a healthy respect for the LORD and His Judgment. I don’t want Him to see that I have harboured resentment against anyone who I believe owe me a debt. I don’t want Him to find forgiveness in my heart when I face Him.

To that end, today I am determined to go through my files and destroy any paperwork on people who “owe” me. As for those whom I owe, I beg the indulgence of time in order to repay them. Forgiveness is hard, but it is possible through the Holy Spirit working in me. Left to my own thoughts and feelings, forgiveness would never happen. I turn to Christ. As the Father has forgiven me, LORD, I plead for a forgiving heart and mind. I pray for forgiveness for emotional hurt as well as monetary hurt. It is only through the Grace and Forgiveness I receive from You that I can forgive others. You don’t call for me to forget, because by remembering, we can hopefully not fall into the traps and situations set up by the enemy, and remain in Your Will. Thank You, JESUS, for Your Love and unimaginable sacrifice. AMEN.

Faith

“The thought of my suffering and homelessness is bitter beyond words….. Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The Faithful Love of the LORD never ends! His Mercies never cease. Great is His Faithfulness; His Mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, “The LORD is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in Him! The LORD is good to those who depend on Him, to those who search for Him. So it is good to wait quietly for Salvation from the LORD.” – Lamentations 3:19‭, ‬21‭-‬26 NLT

“But let all who take refuge in You rejoice; let them sing joyful praises forever. Spread Your Protection over them, that all who love Your Name may be filled with Joy.” – Psalms 5:11 NLT

I am not homeless at this moment, but I have been, in my past. Other than that, I must admit to being in a frightful place financially. It amazes me each morning as I get up to find these verses of encouragement in my emails, so appropriate to my life. God is GOOD. He sustains me in the darkness. The situation that doesn’t seem viable to me is easily doable for the Almighty GOD. I know His Words are true, and what appears to me to be a hopeless situation is, instead, an opportunity for Him to show His Mighty Love and Mercy. I am standing on His Promises that He will deliver me. His deliverance may not be of my liking or my desires, but it will come. I do believe, LORD, help my unbelief! I will put my Hope in Him.

Give Thanks to the LORD

“Give thanks to the LORD, for He is Good! His Faithful Love endures FOREVER.” – Psalms 107:1 NLT

Read the whole chapter if you are feeling discouraged. Even better, here are some selected verses:

“Give thanks to the LORD, for He is Good! His Faithful Love endures Forever. Has the LORD redeemed you? Then speak out! Tell others He has redeemed you from your enemies. For He has gathered the exiles from many lands, from east and west, from north and south. Some wandered in the wilderness, lost and homeless. Hungry and thirsty, they nearly died. “LORD, help!” they cried in their trouble, and He rescued them from their distress. He led them straight to safety, to a city where they could live. Let them praise the LORD for His Great Love and for the wonderful things He has done for them. For He satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things. Some sat in darkness and deepest gloom, imprisoned in iron chains of misery. They rebelled against the words of GOD, scorning the counsel of the Most High. Some were fools; they rebelled and suffered for their sins. They couldn’t stand the thought of food, and they were knocking on death’s door. “LORD, help!” they cried in their trouble, and He saved them from their distress. He sent out His Word and healed them, snatching them from the door of death. He changes rivers into deserts, and springs of water into dry, thirsty land. He turns the fruitful land into salty wastelands, because of the wickedness of those who live there. But He also turns deserts into pools of water, the dry land into springs of water.” – Psalms 107:1‭-‬11‭, ‬17‭-‬20‭, ‬33‭-‬35 NLT

Where do you stand today? Things can change in a moment of time, and we can think we are standing on firm ground when we have actually stepped onto quicksand. It is OUR choices that put us on the quicksand, when we make decisions without seeking GOD’s will first, before our own; it’s when we let go of His Hand and venture out on our own. He will never let go or leave us, but we can – and do – let go of Him. Have you been a fool; in rebellion against Him and miserable in your gloom and darkness? I’ve certainty been there. I kept myself busy having “fun” so that I didn’t have to see how truly miserable and despairing I was. Read that last verse again.

“But He also turns deserts into pools of water, the dry land into springs of water.”

All we have to do is open our clenched fists and our closed hearts and minds to the Savior, JESUS. He will lift you out of the muck and the mire and carry you to solid ground. He will carry you until you can stand and walk again, however long it takes. The LORD may not deliver us from a financial situation, or keep us from losing a job or things, but He will be there to comfort you. I stand on that promise today as I face a very uncertain future. I know what I would like to see happen, but I have to content myself that my LORD knows the path and will lead me on it. By myself, I cannot see the way at all! Again and again,“Give thanks to the LORD, for He is Good! His Faithful Love endures Forever.” Amen.

New Year, New Beginning

Yesterday, this verse was the basis for an excellent sermon I heard, and today it is the Verse of the Day for the Bible app…. do I think God is speaking to me? Absolutely. Even though I am scared to death because I cannot see the path I am on, I am choosing to trust that God knows what He is doing, and that He will deliver me from the abyss I am facing. Starting a new year newly, and without warning, single and with no job and no income…. but God has made me this promise:

“For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.” – Isaiah 43:19 NLT

A new beginning for the new year. Thank You, LORD, for Your faithfulness. I believe, LORD, help my unbelief!

Tough Day?

I can relate to having a tough day. In fact, I’m in the middle of several all strung together, and I’ve had a lifetime of disappointment and shame. I have been relying on a man for 2 years instead of relying on my Lord, and find myself betrayed, lied to, and disrespected…. again. Still, I choose to believe in and hold on to these verses in the psalms:

“He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds. He counts the stars and calls them all by name. How great is our LORD! His Power is absolute! His understanding is beyond comprehension!” – Psalms 147:3‭-‬5 NLT

Knowing this doesn’t make my life, or my day, better. It does, however, bring me a measure of peace. You can know this peace, too, if you want it. Jesus came for everyone, even the ones who have hurt us. He suffered horrible things, and He allowed Himself to be brutally murdered for those who hurt, AND for those who hurt us. That’s hard to hold on to, especially when the wounds (physical or emotional) are fresh.

“He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them. So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now! This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” –
2 Corinthians 5:15‭-‬17 NLT

There are many seasons in life, and it seems that some of us are stuck in the muck and mess of this world when others just seem to skate over it, unaffected. (I know they are affected, bjut it’s difficult to see sometimes when you are trying hard to just keep your head above water.) I’ve stated many times over the past couple of years how blessed I have been to have a man in my life who loved me and (seemly) wanted to spend his life with me. It’s rough to be told it’s over. Despite my feeling of hurt and betrayal, I am compelled to pray peace for him. My human point of view is flawed, so in order to keep from spewing ugliness in my hurt, I have to look through God’s eyes to see His child. Feelings will change and the hurt will recede, eventually.

“King David said this about Him: ‘I see that the LORD is always with me. I will not be shaken, for He is right beside me. No wonder my heart is glad, and my tongue shouts His praises! My body rests in hope. For You will not leave my soul among the dead or allow your Holy One to rot in the grave. You have shown me the way of Life, and You will fill me with the Joy of Your Presence.’ ” – Acts of the Apostles 2:25‭-‬28 NLT

Amen.

The Blessings of Christmas – Days 4, 5

I am empty. Stressed, frustrated, and feeling hopeless.

Christmas is such a beautiful season where we have the blessings and opportunities to celebrate our Saviour’s birth. I love this time, and I am very aware of how much I am blessed. So why am I empty at such a joyous time? Perhaps it is because I am so overwhelmed with the bills I am facing, realizing that there is no earthly way to meet the obligations that are past due. For the past 21 months, I have operated under the assumption that any day, I would receive a reasonable, physically doable job offer. I have resisted going back to retail due to some physical issues. To get by, I have relyed heavily on my credit card to cover me, and now the house of cards is tumbling. I have not been worrying and stressing, because I know that God teaches us not to. He is in control.

Pray for me.

Pain, Momentary or Permanent

There are many types and causes of pain. It can be physical, emotional, and spiritual. Medical treatments often cause momentary, or temporary pain to us physically, but when the treatment, surgery, adjustment, whatever, is done, we feel much better. Childbirth can be (and usually is) incredibly painful, but the love that floods the mother when she holds her baby for the first time makes all the pain and discomfort disappear. Many millions of people have physical conditions that cause them to be in constant pain. The emotion pain of cutting a toxic person from our lives can hurt so deeply that we can’t imagine living through it. Watching a loved one suffer, or losing a loved one through death, causes us tremendous pain. It doesn’t matter who you are, how “rich” you are, how much power you hold, or where you live, pain will be your companion at some point in your life.

“Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later.” – Romans 8:18 NLT

Whether the pain is temporary, fleeting, or something to live with our entire earthly lives, there is a permanent solution. It’s an eternal cure for the deepest, most debilitating pains known to anyone on earth, and it is utterly free, no strings attached. Why, then, do people reject this cure? Who do you know that will reject a gift that is offered with nothing asked for in return? Why are we so suspicious of the gift that will free us, but we grab for the horrible and painful gifts the enemy hands us, gifts that are firmly tied to the giver? I think it’s because the true gift is offered in plain packaging, no frills….. but the enemy wraps his with beautiful wrappings and ribbons and bows and bling.

I confess that for many years I preferred the gaudy gifts. I convinced myself that the beautiful wrappings made up for the ugliness and darkness inside. If I wrapped myself up in the packaging, I could present myself to the world as impervious the the darkness and ugliness. I could hide it from myself. Wrong. There is only so much you can do to hide. EVERYTHING comes to the light, eventually. I have a huge debt of gratitude to the people God put in my path to show me the TRUE Gift. Much of the physical and emotional pain I have dealt with throughout my life could have been avoided if I had paid attention to the real Gift of Love, instead of turning and going through the muck, trying to capture that elusive feeling of “happiness”. Is that where you are today? Treading through the muck, wandering in the pain and hopelessness?

My prayer today is that you will look up, open your eyes and your hands and your life, and really SEE where you are. Reach out to the One Who is able to pull you out of the ugliness! If you can’t stand up or put one foot in front of the other, don’t despair. The One Who is capable of pulling you up will carry you until you can walk, and even then, no matter what, He will ALWAYS be with you. He will never expect you to carry on by yourself, and in fact, even when we turn our backs on us, He will NEVER leave us alone. I know this, because I experience it daily. Even in the darkest parts of my life, He never walked away or forsook me, because I accepted His Gift at a young age…. I just chose to follow the path the world (i.e. the enemy) instead of going with my Savior. I thank the LORD that He didn’t desert me!

Life on earth will never be painless. I struggle financially, I have physical issues, and it is difficult for me to come out of my shell. These will be a part of my life until I die, or until my Jesus returns, and that’s just reality. The beauty of it all is that because I accepted His Gift, l don’t face it alone. His strong Hands are with me to support me and carry me as needed. Plus, I get to spend all of eternity with NO sorrow, NO pain, NO struggles! Don’t know about you, but I would rather live my life now as if Jesus were real (and He IS real and alive), than to face an unknown and dark eternity.

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” – Revelation 21:4 NLT

Silence….

I have maintained a silence for several days. This time of year, November and December, are difficult for me, as they are for many. Society puts so many expectations on us, plus family and peer pressure to go and do, and to buy all the latest toys and gadgets for gift giving. For so many of us, financial struggles are an ongoing theme. When I was younger, my Grandma would give me five dollar bill. Since I’ve become an adult, I’ve often wondered what she gave up in order to present us with the small amount. It’s so easy to judge, based only on the immediate circumstance, rather than to look further to determine what is reality. My love for her has grown immensely as I have realized the sacrifices she had to have made in order to spoil me and my siblings. In many cases, mine included, we have multiple nieces and nephews, across the ages from baby to married with their own children. Through the year, I get things for them as I come across something I think (hope!) they will enjoy, but it always ends up lopsided as we get nearer to Christmas. I will find I have something for one brother, but nothing for the other…… and no funds to rectify it. What to do? Give nothing to either? Give the gift to the one, and leave the other to feel slighted? Of all the days in the year, Christmas is both the most difficult and one of my favorites to celebrate. Times like this are HARD. Not just for me, but for hundreds of thousands of others. The pressure is on! As hard as it is, I am working to remind myself of what I adore about this season. We celebrate the birth day of our LORD and Saviour, JESUS CHRIST. He is where our focus should be, not on the mound of presents under a tree. Our tradition for our Oklahoma family is to come together Christmas Eve to eat and fellowship and exchange gifts. It will be chaotic with a baby and a 2 year old, an 8 year old, and a 13 and 18 year old…. and all of the corresponding adults, but I love the chaos. I missed out on it for years when I was separated from family. The music and the decorations can work to either help us focus on our Emmanuel, or on the physical, worldly side. If you are estranged from family today, if it is possible, forgive and love them. In many instances it isn’t healthy or possible to be involved with birth family, so use the energy to focus on the ONE Who Loves you more than life itself; the One Who left Heaven to came to earth to sacrifice His life for your salvation. If you are physically alone on this day, look to Jesus: “For I hold you by your right hand— I, the LORD your GOD. And I say to you, ‘Don’t be afraid. I AM here to help you.” – Isaiah 41:13 NLT

“One night I dreamed a dream. As I was walking along the beach with my Lord. Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, One belonging to me and one to my Lord.

After the last scene of my life flashed before me, I looked back at the footprints in the sand. I noticed that at many times along the path of my life, especially at the very lowest and saddest times, there was only one set of footprints.

This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it. “Lord, you said once I decided to follow you, You’d walk with me all the way. But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life, there was only one set of footprints. I don’t understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me.”

He whispered, “My precious child, I love you and will never leave you Never, ever, during your trials and testings. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you.” “

Discouraged, Sad?

Why do we walk around discouraged? Why are we sad? When we remind ourselves of God’s Truth, we should realize that we have no reason – none, zero, zilch! – to be anything but joyful. When I get down, whether because of circumstances or a poor choice and it’s consequences, my friend likes to say to me: “Who’s in control?” Who do you think is in control?

“The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.” – Exodus 14:14 NLT

I can always answer “Not me!” because I know the Truth of Who is in control. He lets us drive until we voluntarily hand it over to Him. He’s a gentleman and won’t ever force us to choose Him.

“This is the message of Good News: There is peace with GOD through JESUS CHRIST, Who is LORD of ALL.” Acts 10:36 NLT

Life is SO much simpler when we let God “drive”!!

“Honor the LORD, you heavenly beings ; honor the LORD for His Glory and Strength. Honor the LORD for the Glory of His Name. Worship the LORD in the Splendor of His Holiness. The Voice of the LORD echoes above the sea. The GOD of Glory Thunders. The LORD Thunders over the mighty sea. The Voice of the LORD is Powerful; the Voice of the LORD is Majestic. The Voice of the LORD splits the mighty cedars; the LORD shatters the cedars of Lebanon. He makes Lebanon’s mountains skip like a calf; He makes Mount Hermon leap like a young wild ox. The Voice of the LORD strikes with bolts of lightning. The Voice of the LORD makes the barren wilderness quake; the LORD shakes the wilderness of Kadesh. The Voice of the LORD twists mighty oaks and strips the forests bare. In His Temple everyone shouts, “Glory!” The LORD rules over the floodwaters. The LORD reigns as KING Forever. The LORD gives His people Strength. The LORD Blesses them with Peace.” – Psalms 29:1‭-‬11 NLT

AMEN!